1) I prefer action movies and comedies to drama. Bonus points if the action is kungfu or has lots of one on one fighting. Extra bonus points if there is more male nudity than female.
2) I hate kids.
People think that I must love children because I have so many. What they don’t realize is that I only love my children – and half the time, I don’t even like them!
Pretty much I only love the children of people I love. But a random kid? I don’t care how cute they are or precocious (actually, I truly despise “precocious” kids), if I don’t care for or know their parent, I don’t give two shits about them.
Obviously, I don’t want them to be hurt or sick or whatever. I am not evil. But I truly don’t care about them.
I once had a very pretty and bubbly little girl who was clearly used to adults fawning over her antics and she kept tagging along with my friend and I while we had a rare, child-free moment.
I was having none of it.
After five minutes of her nonsense, I asked her where her mother or nanny was. She pointed to someone. I told her to go back there and talk to them instead. We were adults having a conversation and she was not invited.
I felt bad for about 30 seconds. And then I stopped. Why? Because who was she to me? No one.
Also? I see my friend at most once a year, for a few hours at best. I was not going to let some entitled little girl waste my fucking time.
3) I hate traveling and seeing touristy stuff.
4) I love dinosaurs. But not in a way that requires me to learn about them. I just love seeing their bones in museums.
How was anything that huge?
5) I don’t play with children.
I have so many children so that I do not have to play with them. My kids know that I don’t play and no longer ask.
Part of me is sad. But you know what? I don’t recall my parents (or anyone else’s parents) ever playing with us as kids – except maybe when we were older and played grown up card games.
6) I don’t have Netflix or Hulu or any other streaming service other than what comes with Amazon Prime – and I don’t even use that.
The thought of one other monthly payment for something I would barely use hurts me. But it makes me sad when shows are only on those services. It comforts me that if they were on cable, I probably still wouldn’t watch. Because laziness.
7) In the same vein, I don’t do any subscription boxes. The thought of an endless monthly stream of stuff coming in that I can never finish using all of stacking up in my house gives me hives.
It’s a shame though because there are so many good ones out there!
8) I don’t mind washing dishes or loading the dishwasher but I absolutely LOATHE unloading the dishwasher.
Similarly, I don’t mind folding laundry – I just hate putting it away. I am pleased I have trained the kids to put away their own clothes. WIN!
9) After my various pregnancies, there are foods that I shudder just to think about eating despite having zero problems with it before.
Alfredo sauce. Raw spinach. Shoot. Most salads.
Just thinking about the sounds these things make while eating them or their mouth feel gives me the heebies.
I am literally shuddering as I write this.
10) I don’t understand raw oysters.
Baked ones, maybe.
But raw? That’s like swallowing whole snot. Ew.
Alright. Fluffy and ridiculous piece today but that’s all I have in me. I am gonna go makeout with Sasquatch now.