Hibernating

HibernatingI’m not gonna lie to you, Marge. I almost didn’t write a post tonight.

All I want is to curl up in bed, finish the latest book I’m reading (Amazon affiliate link), maybe eat congee (which I am currently doing), and perhaps, watch last week’s The Vampire Diaries and its crossover episode with The Originals.

I’m a simple woman with simple wants.

But I thought, if I get in the habit of blowing these posts off, especially when I’m starting to pursue my goals of writing, then really, I’m self-sabotaging, right?

I have no idea.

But I do know that I tend to fall off the writing world when I just start to gain a little traction and dammit all if that’s not annoying.

Now, I have good reasons to be tired and lazy. But there are always good reasons to be tired and lazy. But if I want something as badly as I say that I do, then I should also be willing to put in the work. (Something that I have not been good about doing since I was a child.)

So, here I am. Banging out a few words so that I feel better about myself.

Okay. What is my point for tonight?

1) Go to my link on congee. It’s so yum, folks. And there are still a few more cold weather days in store for us and it’s sooo cozy and makes me feel instantly better. Remember: GINGER IS KEY.

2) I’m currently reading The Mirror Empire by Kameron Hurley and I have to say I am really enjoying it. I’m confused as all get out, but the payoff is starting to come and I am super glad the sequel (of what I presume is a trilogy) has already come out so then I only have to wait for the conclusion.

Plus, Hurley has written another trilogy prior to this so I can blast through those, too.

Why do I love her world so far?

Violence. I mean, it’s not super violent, I guess. But it’s not a safe world. And there are multiple worlds and for awhile, you’re not sure what world you’re on. Also, all the characters kind of are assholes. Or idiots. Let’s just say I don’t particularly like any of them. But you still want to root for them to win and succeed seeing as their real enemy is even more despicable.

Ohohohohoh! And did I mention that there are many different societies and one of them is cannibalistic, polyamorous, magic-wielding pacifists? And that other societies are female dominated and men are ruthlessly culled and only used for breeding and prostitution? And still yet others have vigorously segregated the sexes? Or have multiple genders and intersexed and transexual peoples?

ALSO – people of color?

It’s pretty awesome. It would have been awesome WITHOUT these aspects, but WITH? AWESOME^2.

Now granted, I still have about 1/4 of the book left to go, but it’s building up to end well. I’ve already put the rest of this series and her books on hold.

3) Why do I keep buying produce that just goes to seed? Or sprouts? Sigh. I really should just save everyone the trouble and throw my money directly into the garbage.

4) Three years ago, when I was pregnant with Glow Worm, I got it in my mind to plant vegetables from seeds in my backyard. I planted them all, didn’t cull any seedlings, and then I had Glow Worm and didn’t really harvest or do anything with the veggies and they just died and flowered and seeded and whatever it is that plants do when you utterly ignore them.

Then we had several years of drought.

Well, this year has been less droughty and stuff has been sprouting up all over the place that I finally noticed. I now have tons of random carrots sprouting everywhere. And perhaps kale. And perhaps onions. WHO KNOWS? DO I LOOK LIKE A BOTANIST? OR A FARMER?

Whatever it is, the kids have really enjoyed digging up carrots in the back yard. Also? Those nice carrots you see at the grocery stores? I have no idea how they get them. Mine are ugly and scrawny and are weird looking.

Whatever. They’re going into juice.

Alright. I’m going back to my insane fantasy world where multiple worlds are trying to annihilate the other. See you Friday. (That post, at least, is already written.)

Buffalo Sauce is Awesome on Everything

Buffalo Sauce is Awesome on EverythingI have been tired lately – both from working on stuff for my Year of Risking Dangerously as well as just needing to let my brain run and consume things a bit so I have stuff to write about. Plus, Hapa Papa has been traveling a lot and that is a different type of tiring.

So, as a result, you all get another one of my random mental flotsam posts. I’m told they can be amusing so I hope today’s post does not disappoint. Of course, I also realize the limited appeal of these types of posts to people who don’t actually know me in real life (and quite frankly, to those who do know me IRL, too). To them I apologize, but in a half-assed sort of way because I don’t owe you anything and you don’t own me and…

Whoa. Yeah. Let’s just get on with it, yeah?

1) I have leftover buffalo wing sauce and I am putting it on random shit because I want more buffalo sauce in my mouth without resorting to drinking it. (I have standards, okay?)

Leftover hashbrown? Yes.

Cold mini-pancakes? Yes.

Dimsum? My God, YES.

It is all that I thought it would be.

2) Hapa Papa has been up since 4am Ohio time this morning. What is he doing right now at 11:25pm? Playing fucking Minecraft.

Seriously?

Did I mention he has calls starting at 7am tomorrow?

He needs to GTFTS. Mostly because I want to watch NCIS.

3) As soon as Hapa Papa walked through the door this evening at 9:15, I air-kissed the kids and went straight to my local boba shop to get boba (as well as an extra one for tomorrow since Hapa Papa is traveling again) and a snack.

The kids get really angry with me if I go without bringing them anything (understandably so) so I stayed in my driveway until Cookie Monster and Gamera were asleep. Hapa Papa claimed Glow Worm was asleep, too, so I snuck in through the front door only to hear his little voice piping up.

I felt bad so I swapped with Hapa Papa and let him go downstairs. I know. I’m a saint.

Glow Worm wouldn’t be up so late if he hadn’t have napped for 2.5 hours in the car this afternoon. It’s hard on days when we are constantly in the car so of course he falls asleep. And I’m if anything, shortsighted, so I let him sleep. Mostly so I could nap in the front seat of my van while waiting for my older two to finish their classes.

At any rate, I finally heard snoring and risked leaving. Glow Worm has been known to fake snore – but these sounded legit. Who knows, though. He’s pretty tricky. (Turns out, he really did fall asleep.)

4) Tiger Woo told us that she watched a horribly graphic and disturbing video of a seal raping a penguin today. She said the raping was learned behavior.

What I want to know is: FROM WHOM? (Hapa Papa had a similar reaction. This is why we are MFEO.)

Who is going around teaching seals how to rape penguins?!?

I suppose if I had bothered to watch the video she sent us, I would know. But I didn’t; so I don’t.

5) Went to the park today.

People: just cuz some random kid is Asian doesn’t mean he’s mine. Also? HIS MOM IS RIGHT THERE. Watching him like a hawk.

6) My kids are super into Minecraft these days which, I am relieved to say, has replaced Halo as the game of choice around here for Cookie Monster.

Also, Gamera has also started playing. Like, with the actual controls and everything – not just ordering Hapa Papa around, telling him what to do. If you know her at all, you will know she is quite possibly the laziest human child ever. So the fact that she is playing her own game is amazing.

Who said video games are stupid?

7) Because they are super into Minecraft, they “play Minecraft” in real life, too. Cookie Monster and Gamera spent over an hour playing Minecraft in the sandbox at the park this afternoon while Glow Worm ran around going down slides, jumping up and down, going on swings, climbing boulders, and generally parking the shit out of that park.

Then they spent a good part of the evening “mining” our house by knocking on walls and stuff. They kept saying their hands were all bloody from their mining.

Hapa Papa, our resident Minecraft expert, has no idea what that means. I say we just go with it since then I can read in peace.

8) I’m always impressed by how physical Glow Worm is. He has such a physicality to him that Hapa Papa calls him, “The Gronk,” after that fratboy party animal football player.

I just laugh and pretend I know WTF Hapa Papa is talking about. He isn’t fooled but allows me my harmless fiction. Then he explains it to me. And explains it to me again because I don’t listen to him very much because I am a dick.

9) Dude. When is Hapa Papa gonna be done with Minecraft? I really want to watch NCIS but now it’s getting past midnight.

Treachery!

10) I have a problem. I keep starting FB groups. It’s a little bit ridiculous, but I can’t stop.

Also? The majority of these groups have the same people in it.

Womp womp. 

11) Gamera has been blaming everything on me, lately. At current score, it’s my fault when:

– The weather is cold when she hates wearing pants
– That even though she wants to see snow in person, that snow is cold and would require her to wear said pants
– She has to go to school and we go on a playdate with people she loves so therefore she loves Hapa Papa more
– She is soooooo tired and her hand hurts from doing homework and her nose hurts from breathing
– We laugh at her hiccuping
– Costco did not have the breakfast bars she likes and now we’re out of them
– I did not get her milk when she is perfectly capable of getting milk herself and she is SO THIRSTY
– I have not given her a girl cousin

12) In related news, Glow Worm was furious with me because I couldn’t split apart a toy that cannot be split apart.

I am the worst.

13) Also also? If I kiss Glow Worm and he doesn’t want it or like it he will hold the spot I kissed him and cry, “Owwie!! Owwwwwwwiiiiiiiiieeeee!” And keep crying until I kiss him to make it better.

Then, he’ll remember I kissed him and the whole thing starts all over.

14) At least Cookie Monster is sweet and loves me and wants me to hug him and kiss him and be with him.

15) Even though I am super full right now, I still want buffalo sauce in my mouth. Why can’t there be buffalo sauce chewing gum or some type of cough drop that is buffalo sauce flavored? That would clear my sinuses, right?

16) Which reminds me. Where is that bacon flavored gum I have wanted all my life?

Alright. I need to go to sleep since it doesn’t look like NCIS is happening tonight. Also, I think I’m getting a little too loopy.

Thanks for humoring me today! Back to our regularly scheduled programming on Friday.

How to Make an Awesome Sandwich

Welp, it’s been about three months since I last did a post on food so this time, instead of How to Make an Awesome Salad, I bring you: How to Make an Awesome Sandwich.

Now, I know I am not the type of blog people turn to when it comes to recipes or crafts or anything homemakery. However, I’m a decent cook in general (though of the non-recipe following variety). I want to say among my friends, I am known to be really good at making soups, salads, and sandwiches.

I have to say, I often forget about the sandwich as a meal option (mostly because my kids don’t eat them), but when I do, I always tell myself I should make them more often because it is quick, easy, and tasty.

Here then, is my general formula for a really tasty sandwich:

Awesome Sandwich Formula

1) Something to hold the sandwich together
2) Something crunchy
3) Something protein
4) Something savory
5) Something spready
6) Something fatty
7) Something juicy

Now, you don’t have to have something in every category, but I want to say you need at least 4-5 for a truly delicious sandwich. And when you manage to have all categories, you have a memorable sandwich. (And many of these items can be combined. Eg: bacon is both crunchy, savory, fatty, AND protein!)

To make things easy for you, I am now going to list some possible things (as idea kick starters) in each category.

1) Something to hold the sandwich together – Totally obvious, but something to hold the sandwich is needed. Otherwise, it’s a salad. (True fact: I pretty much make my salads the same way I make my sandwiches except that I add a lot more fruit.)

– Bread (any kind, really – there are SO many kinds! They all work!)
– Naan (toasted is even better!)
– Tortilla (for a wrap instead of a “sandwich”)
– Croissants
– Pita
– Biscuits/Bread rolls
– Lettuce (if you’re avoiding carbs, lettuce also holds things together)
– Donuts

2) Something crunchy – Mostly vegetables, can also be a combo category with savory and protein.

– Some types of lettuce
– Celery (personally, not a favorite)
– Carrots
– Jicama
– Bell peppers
– Cucumbers/pickles
– Banana peppers
– Bacon
– Bean sprouts
– Onions
– Apple slices
– Seeds (pumpkin, sunflower)
– Nuts (almonds, walnuts, pecans, candied ones are awesome, too!)

3) Something protein – Usually a meat or an egg, or nuts and seeds. Pro Tip: if you’re using deli meat, roll them up instead of laying them flat on the sandwich. You might use the same number of slices, but for some reason, when they’re rolled up, it’s SO MUCH BETTER. Pro Tip 2: Nothing improves a sandwich more than putting an over-medium fried egg on top of it.

– Bacon
– Salami
– Chicken (I like to use leftover Costco rotisserie chicken)
– Deli meat/ham
– Egg (scrambled, sliced and hard boiled, over medium, etc.)
– Smoked salmon
– Leftover steak/pork/whatever
– Sausage/brats
– Seeds (pumpkin, sunflower)
– Nuts (almonds, walnuts, pecans, candied)

4) Something savory – This is usually a combo category since meats, spreads, and cheeses all fit the bill. Pickled vegetables (eg: artichoke hearts, sundried tomatoes, olives, etc.) are a nice kick. You could also substitute savory with spicy, too.

5) Something spready – This usually refers to stuff you spread on the bread (ie: condiments), but it can also include things like chicken salad or pesto.

– Chicken/Tuna salad
– Pesto
– Mayo (or Japanese spicy mayo, or sriracha mayo, or any fancy mayo with a kick)
– Grey Poupon/mustard
– Nut/Seed butters (Not just for PBJs)
– Jam/Jellies (Not just for PBJs)

6) Something fatty – My FAVORITE category!

– Bacon
– Cheeses (goat cheese, blue cheese, shoot, in a pinch, string cheese)
– Avocado
– Egg
– Nuts/Seeds
– Certain cuts of meat (like pork belly)

7) Something juicy – In my mind, this refers to tomatoes (nothing better than a beefy, heirloom tomato), or a runny egg yolk. But apples and other types of crisp fruits count, too.

Pro tip 3: You can also include seeds, nuts, and fruits (dried or fresh) – either in a salad type of spread (eg: chicken salad), or just sprinkled onto the sandwich. It does make things a bit crumbly though.

If you’re feeling fancy and/or Subway sandwichesque, you can also add a dressing. Here’s my salad dressing from my previous post. But honestly, I personally think a dressing is a bit of an overkill. (Plus, you run the risk of the bread getting soggy – which is the WORST.)

Easy Salad Dressing Recipe

1) 1 part olive oil
2) 1 part seasoned rice vinegar
3) salt/pepper/garlic powder/white pepper to taste
4) optional: sesame oil, teriyaki sauce, soy sauce, Memmi soup base, dijon mustard

If this post seems almost exactly like my salad post, you’re right. It is. Except now there is something to hold the sandwich together instead of a bowl.

And since you can likely tell I cribbed most of this post from my previous one, we might as well end the same way: Alright, that’s it. If this takes you more than 10 minutes to make, it’s too hard! Enjoy!