Welp, it’s been a few days since I last posted and honestly, I really only have a random collection of thoughts to write. My brain is mush due to the heat and also, all the blood rushes from my brain to my basketball sized stomach in order to process all the food I am eating in the early hours of the day.

I know. You feel so bad for me.

If it helps, I barely eat dinner (if at all) because I am just too full. Also, eating with my children present always ruins my day.

Anyhow, here then, are a collection of some of my thoughts and observations as I walk around randomly on the streets of Taiwan. If you are friends with me In Real Life on Facebook, some of these may sound familiar.

Hey, I never said I was an Original.

Alright, here we go:

1) There really are a shit ton of people here. I mean, holy shit. There are a LOT of people here.

2) I really don’t understand how anyone can wear anything other than loose fitting clothing or linen here. Why do people wear jeans or jeggings or anything that is dark, heavy, makeup, and anything at all related to hosiery? (Admittedly, some of the women may not have a choice in the matter.)

FFS, every day after I walk my kids to school, my chest is COVERED in sweat. Not to mention just my chest. I just happen to notice my chest because when I look down, it looks like someone took a spray bottle and sprayed my chest with water.

I never realized my chesticles made CONDENSATION.

This happens in my loose fitting cotton maternity dress and pixie cut.

How do people have long hair here? Not to mention long hair that isn’t worn UP in braids or buns or ponytails?

I am baffled.

If I lived here full time, I would just look like some fucking bald hippy because OMG THE HEAT.

3) Despite the bjillion people here, everyone is really polite. People queue up to go up and down escalators like schools of efficient fish. They’re quiet, clean, and very kind and helpful.

Especially the women.

There are signs all over the place to give up your seat to the infirm, the old, the visibly pregnant, and people with small children.

Inevitably, I am always offered seats from women and old folks who look just as tired as I feel.

The young and male population? Noticeably absent.

Before we Americans get on our high horse, I have to say that I find women in America a lot more helpful than men, too.

I don’t know if it’s because women are used to caring for others and/or men are just self-absorbed, entitled twats. (Probably both.)

And before I get the MRAs up in a tizzy, as well as my considerate male friends all mad, don’t get mad when it’s fact, ok? If it didn’t happen so regularly for me to notice on multiple occasions, both during this foray to Taiwan and my previous ones, I wouldn’t point it out.

I don’t EXPECT people to give up their seat for me. But it’s kind. And I have also given up my seat to old people or other people who look as if they could use the seat more than I do.

Chill out.

4) Some of the best parts of my day are when I run into the promotional ads (which are HUGE) for 寒戰2 (Cold War 2). Mmmm. Aaron Kwok. How did I not know about you?

Yes, please. And Thank You.

Oh, and you’re WELCOME.

5) Incidentally, I think I somehow got one of my aunties to agree and watch the movie with me. We have no idea what it’s about or if it’s any good. I just want to stare at Aaron Kwok.

6) Also, also? I don’t know how women my age can lust after young men. I mean, I get it. Equal opportunity objectification, et al. But seriously, I feel creepy looking at any men under the age of 30-35. They look like children, FFS.

Give me a man in his late 30s and 40s any day. Mmmmm.

7) The other day, I saw a group of attractive young men in their mid-twenties walking around with girls their age. I realized that I will NEVER be attractive to that group of men ever again.

I’m not sad or upset or anything.

It’s just startling.

Like, oh shit. I’m no longer a hot young thing and have zero wish to be.

8) I always forget how diverse Taiwanese people actually are in terms of looks, height, noses, eyes, sizes, everything. We are not just what is depicted in the media – some uniform “Asian” face. We do not look the same.

9) Along these lines, possibly because there are just a ton of people around, I see a lot of folks with mild “disabilities” around. Whether they are lacking limbs, have limps, or have more severe physical differences, it’s nice to see them walking about and behaving like regular normal people.

Because guess what? They are regular, normal people.

I like that my kids see them, have questions, and I tell them that people come in all sorts and that they are people, too. They look different, but have loves and hates and likes and dislikes and feelings.

I don’t know if it makes a difference in my kids’ minds, but I hope it does.

10) I LOVE air conditioning.

11) I find myself often mentally praising the Lord or thanking Jesus for the little things like a surprise breeze, or overcast skies, or anything that makes the misery of being outside more tenable.

I wonder if my comfortable life makes me less amenable to gratefulness. After all, I am rarely in a position of discomfort – so I rarely have to think about being grateful for “small” things.

12) The internet is fantastic. Especially when traveling in a foreign country.

13) I use Pleco, a Chinese dictionary, almost as often as I use Google Maps so I often accidentally pull up Pleco instead of Google Maps to look up directions. Seems legit.

14) Also, plenty of idiots in Taiwan, too. No shortage, here.

I don’t know why I find that both slightly surprising as well as disappointing.

Come on, my people. You are supposed to be better than this. (I kid, I kid.)

15) My current trip isn’t even halfway over yet (although almost) and I’m already planning on my trip for next summer. Hapa Papa doesn’t realize it yet, but he’s going to agree.

Alright. All randomly observated out. See you soon!