Friends, I am a little tipsy on fatigue and a day full of drinking prosecco at Cookie Monster’s birthday party. So, if today’s post is particularly punchy and random, blame the baby. Being tired hurts my brain cells more than the prosecco.

Seriously, you need to check out my friend, Miranda Wicker’s, Wine Shop at Home site and order this prosecco. I am not a fan of wine at all. I smell wine and fall over drunk. Quite frankly, I don’t see the appeal.

However, I am a fan of sparkling wine (which I recently learned is just champagne from areas other than Champagne, France). In fact – I particularly enjoy prosecco during the day (there is something delightfully naughty about drinking in the day time for me). So because I love my friend, Miranda, I wanted to support her business and bought two bottles of their Le Cadeaux Semi-Seco.

Dude, the shipping was $18 because they have to pay by weight and use a fancy bottle cushioner thingy to make sure your wine bottles arrive unbroken (IMPORTANT). But other than that, the wine arrived in 2 days.

TWO DAYS. (It might have even be less than two days – I can’t remember because I am a horrible reviewer of things but you’re stuck with me so I’M NOT SORRY.)

Anyhow, I originally was considering ordering a case on Black Friday for $240 but Hapa Papa put his foot down and ruined all things (he claims I don’t drink enough but you know what? I could and I could start now. Talk about a lack of imagination on his part. Lame.)

I meant to immediately start drinking the moment I received the package but since I was by myself, I didn’t want to waste it and risk it losing all its bubbly because I can’t kill a bottle by myself. I even bought special bottle stoppers for bubblies because otherwise it will lose its fizz and I was not about to ruin $22 bottle wine. (Affiliate link.)

But it turns out I needn’t have bothered with the wine stopper because it’s all gone gone gone. Down my gullet and my friends. YUM. Not too sweet and not too dry. Just the way I like it.

Ok. That was a pretty boozy preamble for a non-drinker. But now onto my other thoughts.

1) I finally convinced my mother that Hapa Papa and I don’t want Christmas presents and I would rather spend time with her watching a movie or eating so we watched Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them tonight.

Since I exclusively breastfeed, I had to start pumping milk this week so I would have enough milk for Sasquatch during the three hours I would be out.

It was hard because I haven’t been pumping and I was starving when trying to ramp up production. Making milk is hard work. Also? I lost sleep because instead of sleeping, I was pumping milk.

Sasquatch ate 10 ounces in the three hours I was gone and when I got home, he was still hungry. This was after I fed him before I left.

People, this means I will need to pump milk for months before I will have enough for baby boy when I go off to Type A Parent West 2017 in Denver this coming April.

I am going to be very hungry and cranky.

2) Incidentally, because I so rarely watch movies now, all the previews seem amazing. I teared up inappropriately at all the movies. Every movie looked amazing.

3) My mom seemed really happy to watch a movie. She loves movies but doesn’t have anyone to watch with. I don’t know why we haven’t gone to see more movies together.

In 2017, I am going to make more of an effort to watch movies with my mom. Easy peasy.

4) I have been listening to The Weeknd on Spotify lately after reading a review in the New York Times of his latest album.

I never realized just how filthy The Weeknd is.

Also? His cover of Michael Jackson’s Dirty Diana is amazing. If I could sex a song I would have sex with this song. It is so good.

Maybe I just don’t listen enough to music. I don’t know.

5) I am starving.

6) My friend’s husband was so appalled that I’ve owned the Instant Pot (affiliate link) since July but I still hadn’t brought it out of the box to use it; he decided to make us dinner with my Instant Pot.

People – this is how you friend, ok? Everyone else? STEP UP YOUR GAME.

He kept trying to tell me how awesome the Instant Pot is by describing all the things I could make and I just kept laughing at him. Me make tacos? Pulled pork? Braised pork shoulders?

I don’t make these things. I eat these things.

I am chuckling just thinking about it.

7) Geez, people. I really am ravenous. But Sasquatch is on me and I am in bed.

Sigh.

8) Oh, and I know I mentioned it last week, but HFS, I have been adulting af this week.

I AM MADE OF WIN.

I don’t know how long this will last. I am deeply suspicious of myself.

And with that note, I should sleep. (I will lost likely squeeze in a few more games of Two Dots though because I can only make so many wise decisions without maxing them out.)

Happy Monday!