Re-entry is Hard


I know. I know.

You thought I had abandoned this blog for the ease and instant gratification of Facebook Live Videos.

As tempting as that is, I just can’t be that unedited and unscripted on a regular basis. If I produced live videos on the same schedule as I write, no one would be seeing anything live because I write deep into the dark night or on Saturday mornings. The rest of you would be busy sleeping or living your life.

Also? I think I’m funnier on screen vs in person. Apologies to all my real life friends.

Anyhow, we have been back in the Americas for twelve days. TWELVE DAYS. And other than one Costco trip (I still need to go for this week) and some unpacking (but not ALL) and finally getting over jet lag, I have done a fat load of NOTHING.

OKOKOKOK. Not entirely true. I took the kids to parks and playdates. (My kids climbed a 30-40′ tree to the very top and I tried not to die of fear and trembling on the spot.) I actually cooked. (I MISS YOU, TAIWAN!!) And did a bjillion loads of laundry and all the random crap of life.

Still have yet to make it back to kungfu though.

And I have tried to ease the kids back into homeschooling with daily reading. We officially start Monday 8/14. It is hard, people. HARD.

The summer brain drain is real. My impatience is real.

YOU GUYS, I NO LONGER HAVE OTHER PEOPLE COOKING FOR ME 24/7!!

That is the REAL kicker. That is the part of Taiwan that I always miss the most. It makes me so sad. So so so so sad.

But I am so glad we are back at our house – despite it’s cluttered mess (exacerbated by my lack of finished unpacking). I am so glad for the space we have (triple that of our apartment in Taiwan). I’m so grateful my older kids can run around and be loud and jerks but the baby will be fine upstairs asleep.

SO HAPPY TO BE IN THE LAND OF REASONABLE WEATHER AND PARKS.

But I have been slumming it.

Hapa Papa started a new job but I haven’t yet enrolled us for benefits. Because of stupidity. I WILL SOON THOUGH. (Please don’t judge me!!)

I have been binge re-reading a favorite Regency romance spy series. (I bought her new book so OF COURSE I had to re-read all the previous books in the series. OF COURSE.)

I have been catching up with all the dance shows we missed. And now, Project Runway has started up again – which is AWESOME!!

Now that I’m in the land of expensive bubble tea, I want it all the time. (It’s a mystery to me why I never want bubble tea when I’m in Taiwan – but whatever.)

I know I should write for the blog but after over a month off, (because let’s face it, I wasn’t really writing much in June), I barely can string together coherent sentences – let alone INTERESTING sentences.

OMG SO MUCH BLATHERING TODAY.

I will consider this post (and most likely, the next few weeks’ worth of posts) to be the blah you have to get out of your system before you can actually write anything worth reading.

LUCKY YOU FOR READING FIRST PRINT BLAHS.

Ohohohoh. And because I spent all this money lasering my face, (that’s a post for another day, folks – but I LASERED MY FACE), I finally started up my skincare routine again. Like after at least a year and a half of NOT DOING A DAMN THING.

And now, even after just 4-5 days of semi-consistent face care (like washing it and moisturizing and SPFing it), my face is SOFT.

My poor, moisture and care starving face.

Also also, I know that this post is just a random amalgam of thoughts loosely correlating to how mediocre of a human I am with returning to the land of the English language and all, but I AM SO GLAD TO BE SURROUNDED BY ENGLISH.

ESPECIALLY ENGLISH WORDS.

I am no longer an idiot. (Well, I suppose YMMV on that opinion.)

Anyhow. Thank you for reading the random firings of my gasping brain. It is always hard to go back to reality after any trip – but especially hard when you go from a place that took care of a lot of the worst parts of parenting (providing FOOD) to a place that you are now back to adulting.

I am terrible at adulting. But I love to write and the only way to be a writer is to write. And the only way to make it through life semi-successfully is to adult because there is no one else to do it for you.

Did I mention that I had the flu the last few days in Taiwan so it was miserable and our whole family has been rotating who is sick and that it was a really rough week or two (that included the LOOOOOONG flight home)?

Ok. I am getting sick of myself and my nonsense.

But this is my official shingle saying that I’m back! I’M BACK AND I’M NOT SORRY!!

Rambling Thoughts


I inadvertently took a break most of last week. I was just too tired. I fell asleep several times around 7pm with Sasquatch and just hoped and prayed the other three kids didn’t kill each other. Somehow, I stumbled awake to put them to sleep.

Anyhow, here’s what I have on this fine, Wednesday morning. More ramblings!

1) What is it about Mark Ruffalo? The salt and pepper hair? The kinda mumbling? The fact that he survived a brain tumor? I don’t know, but I like it.

2) I’d been avoiding starting the last thirteen episodes of The Vampire Diaries because I knew that once I started, I wouldn’t be able to stop. And dammit it all, I was right. The other day, I stayed up until 2 am knowing full well it was a bad idea but I had to just watch one more episode.

Thankfully Glow Worm woke up in the middle of the night and ran to come find me.

3) I am so mediocre that the thought of tidying up for the judgmental house cleaner stressed me out so badly that I was tempted to call and cancel the whole thing.

But then I thought, “Fuck it. It’s my money. If I am ok with RGSing (Rich Girl Syndrome) so they move stuff, then so be it.”

IF I HAD TIME TO TIDY MY HOUSE I WOULD NOT NEED A HOUSEKEEPER.

And thus, a swarm of housecleaners descended upon my house this past Thursday afternoon, did not judge, did clean, and it was glorious.

4) Of course, not even 24 hours later, my kitchen floor was sticky again.

This is why I cannot have nice things.

5) They even cleaned my baby’s activity cube. Since I bought it used, I don’t think it was ever this clean in my possession.

6) It’s really hard for me to go from folding the kids’ clothes to folding Hapa Papa’s clothes. I inevitably find his clothing too large and bulky and I want to throw away all his undershirts and socks and underwear.

I’m a jerk.

7) I have lots of really pretty office clothes that I no longer wear and couldn’t wear even if I wanted to. The main problem is that my children prevent me from having nice things. But the other problem is that my boobs are HUGE now and have rendered all these pretty clothes into crop tops.

Crop tops as office wear on an almost 40 year old is not attractive.

8) I miss hanging out with adults. I miss banter. I miss being young, footloose, and fancy free.

9) I love all my children so much. But sometimes, I like them most when they’re asleep.

10) Then I feel guilty because time is going by so quickly. I know it is so trite and cliché. But really. How are my kids growing so fast? And yet, at times, not nearly as fast as I would like it.

11) I want to go karaoking. Badly. To bad pop music from the 90s and 2000s.

It could easily happen. Just too lazy and utterly lacking in initiative.

Alright. That’s it for today. My mind is mush and I want to go back to mushing it further with sparkling wine and salami.

Have a happy Wednesday!

The Simple Joys

I don’t know if it’s the residual buzz from the bottomless mimosas I had today at lunch (whoooooooooo!), but I have been pretty happy lately.

Nothing major has happened. Perhaps I am just noticing the good things a little more lately.

Whatever the reason, there is no reason to assume that will last so it’s best I get to recording this down so I don’t forget.

And thus, my post for today will be my random blatherings of things that have made me happy of late. There are worst things to post about.

1) I have been on a tear of reading some fun and good books. I would post about them right now but I am lazy and I am thinking of starting 5 Minute Book Reviews for non-Chinese books. I can’t be stealing from my future material, right?

2) As I mentioned earlier, I partook in bottomless mimosas for lunch today. It was everything that I could have hoped it to be.

I met up with a few of my high school friends and we did a fancy lunch and drank mimosas as I shoveled as many carbs as possible down my pie hole (although, sadly, I did not shove any actual pie).

I don’t know why we don’t hang out more often. Each time we meet up, it’s a good 2-4 hour gabfest. They are just awesome women.

3) Today was likely a four hour fest because I had to sober up because of said mimosas. I wasn’t drunk. But I wouldn’t say I wasn’t NOT drunk.

That last few sentences is clearly making the case that I am still a little tipsy.

4) I just cancelled the new blinds I ordered last night for my sliding glass doors. I really didn’t want to order them except that so many of our vanes were broken and it annoyed me every time I looked at them.

Thankfully, Hapa Papa told me to look for something that would save the vanes instead of buying all new blinds. I don’t know why we didn’t look into that sooner.

That’s why I cancelled the blinds. Why would I pay $400 for blinds when Sasquatch is still too young to make trouble and thus, ensuring that we have prematurely purchased a semi-nice thing only to see it go down in flames (yes, likely literal flames) in the near future.

Well, it was nice to buy a new thing for the house and think we could get away with it. (And even nicer to cancel the order because I got the high off of buying a big thing, but then not having to pay for it!)

At least I didn’t go with my original choice of vertical honeycomb shades. I stopped myself in time to remember that we can’t have nice things.

So, a mediocre non-broken thing is still good enough for me!

5) I really enjoy the tactile feel of typing. I also enjoy the clackety clack, too.

I know I have mentioned this before.

I don’t care. It makes me happy.

6) Being productive makes me happy. Whether it’s writing in things I’ve done just so I can cross them off, or doing actual work and writing, it makes me happy.

7) I have to go to Target on Wednesday in order to buy cleaning supplies for my first housecleaning appointment on Thursday! People, my bathroom is going to be clean!! (Only one likely because they will be deep cleaning and it’s revolting so they might only have time for the one.)

Oh, but back to the cleaning supplies.

Apparently, the owner of the housecleaning business thinks my house is in such a state of squalor that she believes I do not know what actual cleaning products look like. Thus, she has a sheet with PICTURES of the cleaning supplies she wants me to purchase. And she CIRCLED THEM with a RED PEN.

I die. Of shame and amusement.

I am also grateful because let’s be honest. I really don’t know what cleaning supplies to get. Pictures are helpful because it will involve even LESS reading.

8) Sasquatch is delicious. I very much enjoy.

9) This article on BuzzFeed. I woke up Sasquatch because I was laughing so hard I had tears streaming down my face.

10) I am plotting to change up the bedrooms (as in, swap guest rooms with kid rooms, buy bunk beds, turn the nursery into an office because let’s be real, Sasquatch is never going to sleep in there) and I am itching to get it done.

11) I installed a basketball hoop for the kids this weekend and they love it. That makes me nostalgic for a childhood I never had. But in my mind, playing basketball in the driveway and shooting baskets is equivalent to a happy childhood so I am super pleased.

OF COURSE I WIN AT PARENTING BECAUSE OF THIS.

12) I just ordered a box of gel pens. I used to like the Pentel v5 Ultra Fine Point ink pens – and I still do. But lately, I have been really loving the Pilot G2 Retractable gel pens with a 0.7mm point instead. I know. I went up 0.2mm.

Whatever.

I like them because I don’t have to worry about losing a cap (hey, with my kids around, YOU NEVER KNOW) and I enjoy the smoothness of the ink as well as the thickness of the line.

It seems sturdy. Like I’m declaring something.

I used to prefer a finer line, but now, I find it less satisfying.

I guess people can change. Don’t tell my past self. She would be horrified.

Alright. I am about to pass out so I should end the post here. May your Monday be full of the little things that bring you joy.