So, my third trimester insomnia has hit full on (likely aided by jetlag and shitty kids who are so jetlagged that they’ve gone insane) and even though I’m exhausted and sleep-deprived, I still don’t go to sleep because I’m stupid.
I know there are essential oils I could be using, but frankly, I kinda like the extra time it gives me to do things I want to get done but it’s somewhat impossible with three horrible (I mean, lovely) children competing for my attention.
So, I have a bunch of things on my mind (both to do and to think about) and I guess that means it’s time for another mental flotsam post wherein I just list a bunch of crap that’s running through my restless mind.
YMMV in terms of how useful or interesting these thoughts are, but my long time readers are used to these posts by now so I’m not really too concerned about it.
OKOKOKOK, here we go:
1) So You Think You Can Dance: Next Generation is making me miss their regular show. On the one hand, the kids are really good. On the other, I feel weird watching kids dance in sometimes adult ways.
However, I am appreciating the hotness of several of the allstars. (I’m looking at you, Marko! RAWR! Especially after that hip hop number and his swag/old man shuffle at the end. *drools*)
2) In a related note, I really want a moto jacket.
But let’s be real. I don’t really ever wear jackets (even in winter) because I’m rarely outside long enough to require it.
Also, I think I’m overestimating my coolness factor.
Ah well. A girl can dream.
3) I love writing things in my planner that I’ve already done and then crossing them out.
4) Finally cleared out and cleaned my kitchen table. It’s beautiful.
It won’t last, of course. Because LIFE.
But for now, I love it.
4) I accidentally left the lights on in my minivan all day and completely drained the battery. Thank goodness for AAA who can come to our house and replace it for approximately the same price that it would cost for me to go out and buy a battery and install it.
This was way easier.
5) My kids are still really jetlagged and it makes the normal awful bedtime even worse. Like a bjillion times worse.
Nothing like putting my children to bed with the dulcet sounds of my screaming invectives and threats and their loud weeping.
6) Speaking of weeping, Gamera is driving me insane.
All this girl does is cry and whine and cry.
She literally cries over EVERYTHING.
I find myself unsympathetic – which likely just makes things worse.
It doesn’t help that she is the slowest human alive and perhaps it’s a super power of hers because maybe she’s actually trapped in a time bubble and everyone else is going at normal speed and she’s at 1/20th speed and thus will age at 1/20th the rate and will end up being immortal.
Her powers are lost on me because it just makes me erupt in a rage. I’m a very task-oriented person and when I want shit done, that shit better get done instantaneously.
Instantaneous is not a term Gamera is at all familiar with. Unless it refers to how quickly she will cry.
7) My poor mother ended up taking out all three of my kids to dinner because Glow Worm absolutely refused to get out of her car with the other kids because he really really really wanted to be big and hang out with his older brother and sister.
I didn’t mind, but I’m sure my mother did.
Glow Worm had a deliriously happy time.
8) Guavarama came by and organized my Chinese library into a cohesive unit (vs the random pile/shoved bookshelves/floor upon which they were stacked). They are arranged by levels and size and prettiness and quite frankly, it’s a beauty to behold.
It has made me 10x happier.
I am now researching library labels. It’s a sickness, people.
9) I can’t believe I’m home. It’s both wonderful and sad.
When I first got home, I was kinda pissed and shocked at how incredibly dirty and disgusting my house was. After all, didn’t I leave it in pristine condition because I spent all week prior to our trip cleaning it?
How did Hapa Papa fuck up my house in just four weeks?
I was especially mad because before I left, I was frantically cleaning the house and vacuuming – which is really much more than vacuuming because you have to clean up the floor enough for you to have something to vacuum.
Anyhow, Hapa Papa told me to stop and leave all the vacuuming to him because it was exhausting me and he had nothing but time. He talked a good game and it was the ONLY thing I asked him to do when I was gone.
So, imagine my surprise (and complete fury) when a week before we were about to head home from Taiwan, I asked Hapa Papa if he vacuumed and he just had a blank look on his face because he had no clue what I was talking about.
I asked him to do ONE THING! FFS!!
But anyway, when I got home, I initially blamed Hapa Papa for the gross state of our house. Then, I remembered that despite my cleaning, it’s not as if our house was immaculate before I left.
I mean, it was relatively less grimy, but by no means was it tidy or neat or bereft of clutter and dirt.
It was just hard to go from a modern, clean, minimalist 800 sqft apartment where each person has max five changes of clothes and we barely own anything except the stuff I bought in Taiwan to our 2,300 sqft home that practically bursts at the seams with stuff and toys and books and the usual suburban vomit.
Of course my brain went into shock.
My house is a disaster. It just took being away from it for six weeks to have the impact be that jarring.
10) At least this time, I remembered that all the unpacking of clothes and suitcases and books and the thousands of tiny details I have to take care of don’t have to be ALL DONE AND ALL DONE NOW AND BY NOW I MEAN YESTERDAY.
I realize that my natural tendency to get overwhelmed by all the details and hugeness of a multitude of projects doesn’t actually help and likely makes things worse because then I’m incredibly cranky and the kids are already thrown and were so happy to be home that they dragged out every toy we have ever owned in order to re-acquaint themselves with our stuff.
But I told myself to chill out and break everything down into discrete steps and take one chunk at a time.
Even if the chunk is as little as: put clothes back; put away currency; move books from suitcases and boxes and stack them by the wall; clean up family room and vacuum; go to Costco and buy food; plan curriculum (again) for homeschooling, etc.
I am nowhere near done (and the list quite frankly, seems to be growing), but I don’t feel overwhelmed or panicky about it.
It helps that I write down the things that I did manage to do (and then cross out) so I feel as if I’m actually doing things.
11) I’m trying very hard not to fill up every empty space.
So, all the space I cleared in my pantry and fridge and cabinets and toy sections before I left? I tell myself that the world will not end if I try to keep those clear (or as clear as possible).
12) I really enjoy the clickety clack of typing. It’s both soothing and makes me feel as if I’m a Writer with a capital W.
I don’t care if it’s just writing some asinine comment on Facebook. The sound pleases me.
13) A friend has been asking me a lot of questions about building a blog and writing and all sorts of details and I forgot how much I know about marketing and writing and stuff and it’s been fun to be helpful.
I still have a brain, people, and it works on occasion!
It also has me re-evaluating my blog goals for the year. Haven’t dedicated too much brain space to it yet because IMPENDING BABY will ruin everything anyway, but it’s nice to stop and re-evaluate, right?
14) How do I still have bug bites that itch?
15) And how is it that the only child of mine who doesn’t need a diaper at night is my almost 3 year old?
16) And how do I manage to go to Costco and spend hundreds of dollars only to find that I didn’t buy any actual food and only bought snacks and fruit?
I mean, I know this is what I do. But STILL. How can I fail at grocery shopping so utterly and for so long?
17) I can’t believe that I’m starting homeschooling my kids today. Although my charter officially started this past Wednesday, that’s the beauty of homeschooling. You always have perfect attendance and you can start whenever you want.
But I’m easing into it these past few days and let’s just say that I am always shocked at how quickly I forget things that I learned about my kids and educating them and my own crappy character less than 2-3 months ago.
So, when I’m annoyed at my kids for not grasping a concept quickly enough (or for not grasping it after multiple attempts), that I can’t even remember stuff that is vital to my teaching my children – and that I have to relearn it every time we come back from a break.
18) I still have to go through stacks of mail (it’s always the medical bills that get me) and do our yearly benefits and attend to all sorts of FSA crap and deal with health insurance EOBs and I REALLY HATE dealing with medical stuff but BLARGH.
What was I saying about not being overwhelmed and breaking things down into discrete steps?
Yeah. I should do that.
19) I really need to go to sleep at a normal and decent hour.
It would make me feel better and happier and I suspect, everyone in my family will benefit.
20) It was very satisfying to re-draw my homeschooling schedule to accurately reflect the changes that have occurred since I made the original tentative schedule in June.
It is very pretty.
Also? It was very satisfying to set all these repeating alarms to remind me when to leave to drop off/pick up my children at/from their classes.
Hey. Those alarms are vital because I have exactly ZERO brain cells left to remember the time.
Alright. I better shuffle off to bed. (Although listening to Britney Spears is making it difficult for me to leave because um, BRITNEY.)
Also, just to re-assert my coolness factor, I was listening to Eminem and Sia before that… so, um… yeah.
Have a great Monday, friends!