The Last Day of School

Gracious, how are we already here? I could’ve sworn that it was just yesterday I had Hulked Out and was about to commit murder due to poor school communication and rabid American entitlement. Now, I am pleased with the school and considering coming back in two years. (Or one year if I don’t end up having Baby 4 before/around next summer.) The kids are no longer starving at school and seem to love their teachers and are learning a lot of songs and improving their Mandarin. I am very pleased.

With that said, the kids are very homesick. They keep asking to go home to their White Car House (to differentiate from the apartment in Taipei). And true to form, Cookie Monster is excited about seeing his favorite Fun Learning Mandarin preschool teacher (but specifically told me he didn’t want to go to his other class which is silly because he does like her very much and comes home singing new songs and playing new games).

I suppose I want to go home, too. But it’s hard to miss the “Real World” when I am still in holiday mode. Every day is a food orgy! Whoooo! I have to begrudgingly admit that if I extended this trip or lived in Taiwan full time, the shine would eventually rub off and this new life would then become Real Life.

Hmmm. Still think it would be awesome. Of course, this is really my stomach talking. (Now, I am already busy planning the next trip. I have two years to convince other mommies to come with!)

Anyhow, on to the updates!

1) Yesterday, on the way to school, Gamera started jumping as far as possible and kicking the sky. When asked what she was doing, she said, “I kick the sun!”

The poor sun.

2) There is a dance performance this afternoon to show us what the older kids have been working on this past session. We’ve already seen previews from the kids at home, but still haven’t managed to tape it. (To our immense chagrin.) I would tape it today, but I know my kid. Cookie Monster will just stand there and zone out or else he’ll run to me. Either way, he’s that kid who ruins an otherwise fun show for parents. Ah well. Every class needs one of those kids to make other parents feel superior. Glad to oblige, I guess.

3) Fleur and I have made a new friend! Or rather, this lovely woman befriended us! HK Mama Bear approached us last week or so and struck up a conversation and we’ve slowly started to chat more. Yesterday, we hung out all day stuffing food in our faces and shopping and it was awesome. My only regret is that we did not “meet” sooner. She is fantastic!

Plus, talk about small world. HK Mama Bear is originally from SF (she currently lives in HK and is in Taipei for the summer for the same reason we are) and her sister-in-law literally lives across the street from my mother. Like, my mom’s front door opens to her SIL’s front door. On top of that, HK Mama Bear’s SIL’s sister-in-law is a real estate attorney that my mother used a few years ago.

Since my mother lives in a rather small gated community in a town of 43,000 people, that is REALLY CRAZY.

I mean, seriously. MIND. BLOWN.

4) Just got added to the secret Facebook page of my kids’ preschool. So, on the one hand, thrilled to see all their pics for the last month. And also kinda glad I just found out because otherwise, my phone would be full of pics I saved from FB.

But dude, wth?!? It’s the last day of school. Thanks for the timely add.

Also, because I’ve been liking so many pictures of my kids (since 7/14), and FB’s new app update allows me to quick-scroll and hence, quick-like all the pics with my kids in them, Facebook thinks I’m a bot and suspended my ability to like. I SHOULD BE ABLE TO LIKE MY OWN KIDS’ PICS!

5) Gamera has taken to refusing breakfast this past week. Why? Because when she gets to school, she mows through snacks and toast with jam and lunch and all sorts of yumminess. I guess oatmeal with milk can’t compare. She was real smug about it, too.

6) Also, I am ashamed to say, I had a massive Google Fail this trip. And when I say massive, I mean OMG HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE GOOGLE YOU HAVE FAILED ME IN ALL THE WAYS!!

Before the trip, I was so excited to visit a Taiwan Costco. I had packed my Costco card for this express purpose. But when I got to Taipei and Googled for the nearest Costco, the only one I found was near TPE airport which was a $50 cab ride and an hour away. I love Costco (as my loyal readers know) but even I have my limits. Fleur and I were so bummed.

Well, thanks to our new friend, HK Mama Bear, we just found out yesterday that there is not only a Costco in Taipei, THERE ARE THREE.

And not only that (which would have been awesome enough), THERE IS A TWO STORY ONE.

Fleur and I are SO SAD that we are only finding out about this just now.


So today, we are going with HK Mama Bear to the two story Costco because I care for you, Dear Reader. Research must be done in order to properly evaluate Costco in its current native iteration. Don’t say I never did anything for you.

I am so excited.

Also, I’m sure that is a sad editorial on my life but you know what? I DON’T CARE. STOP JUDGING ME. I LOVE YOU COSTCO FOREVER.

Ok. That is all for today because we are leaving tomorrow and quite frankly, I should pack. But instead of packing, I will be going to Costco because REASONS and also GREAT PLANNING. Also, I have to squeeze in at least several shaved ices.

Our flight is at 11:30pm on Saturday and we will arrive at SFO three hours before we leave here. TIME TRAVEL IS REAL. I AM COMING FROM THE FUTURE.

Ok. Seriously? This post has quite the injudicious usage of ALLCAPS but I find myself hilarious. (Clearly, I have been on too many CAPSLOCK fan sites.)

But I do have to find activities to run my kids ragged before they are stuck on a plane for eleven hours. I will also need to somehow find room for packing an entire toy, DVD, and book store.

Wish me luck! (And see you soon in Cali!)

Killing the Sun and Other Bad-Assery

Sigh. The kids are ecstatic that there are only three more days of school left. I, however, am mildly depressed. Now that Hapa Papa is here, the urgency and feeling that we’re missing someone has abated. I eat guilt-free. Ah well, I better get to my updates! Here we go:

1) Hapa Papa was putting sun block on Gamera and explaining that he was protecting her from the sun burning her. Gamera replied, “I kill it and make it red. (From bleeding.) I cut it with a knife!”

Later that day, Cookie Monster asked Hapa Papa where the sun was. Hapa Papa replied that the sun was behind a cloud. Gamera piped in and said, “I kick it!”

Because Hapa Papa finds this hilarious, he now constantly asks Gamera, “Where’s the sun?” Some of her other replies have been:

“I jump high and kick it!”
“I kill it dead!”

I blame Hapa Papa and him letting the kids watch him play Halo. Bastard.

2) In addition to her vendetta against the sun, Gamera has also been talking about 烏雲 (Wu Yun/Dark Clouds) and how it blows. Then she says, “I cut him and make him red and he’s dead.”

I thought it was some story she heard at school so I asked her teacher about it. Teacher Nancy had no idea what I was talking about and asked Gamera where she heard this story. To which she happily replied, “iPad!”

Parenting FAIL. facepalm

3) Cookie Monster doesn’t want to be left out so he says he wants to hit the rain in the arm.

4) The other day, a little boy was talking to Bebe and Gamera sidled up behind Bebe and straight up mad dogged the nice little boy the entire time.

This is not an isolated incident.

Another kid pushed her and she came crying to me and I told her to tell the kid she didn’t like that and to stop. So Gamera ran back to the kid and said forcefully, “Stop! I don’t like that!”

5) Gamera is straight up gangsta.

6) As of a few days ago, all the kids have now wet the bed. Cookie Monster peed thru his pullup twice. Gamera peed after she woke up from her nap. (She missed the pee pad but managed to pee all over the blanket and sheets.) And Glow Worm had just finished taking a bath, crawled away from me on the bed after shoving his foot in butt paste, smearing it all over the sheets, then peeing all over the top of the bed by the headboard while I was cleaning off butt paste.

7) Finally made it to 師大 (ShiDa) night market. Hapa Papa stayed with the kids while Fleur and I snuck out. It was a lot of food and clothing. We ate two shaved ices and bought out a guy’s 粉粿(fen guo) stock. Mmmmm.

8) We went to a specialty mah jong store (東方不敗/Oriental Undefeated) for a fancy mah jong set and sticks but they didn’t have any. The shop was tiny. So disappoint.

9) Glow Worm has had two more minor allergic reactions. I am not clear what was going on but he threw up once and the other time, his trunk broke out in a rash. Regardless, his face is always so clear and better the morning after taking Benadryl.

10) The older kids learned about the Swiss earlier this week and when we asked them what they made, Bebe replied that they drew a Swiss flag hat while Cookie Monster said they made ambulance hats.


11) The kids have gotten used to eating with a floating table and stools because Glow Worm will squeeze under the table and push it and the chairs around as the kids are sitting there, trying to eat.Fleur, calls him The Kitchen Table Troll.



Alright, that’s all for today! Four more eating days left!


6 Eating Days Left!

SADNESS!! How can I just have six eating days left? Fleur and I are pretty much just dragging Hapa Papa around to our favorite places and forcing him to eat stuff and hold our bags as we spend way too much money on Taiwanese stationery, pens, and DVDs.

Here we go! Off to the updates. (A shorter one today because we have limited eating time.)

1) Arcades here are awesome! And the rides last so long Cookie Monster wants to get off before it’s done.







2) First full day with Hapa Papa was fun but also hard. Starting out for adventures seemed so great until I forgot to bring money, ran back home to get some, and then lost my bus card (with $15USD on it!) in rapid succession. Hapa Papa mocked me and said, “It’s Week 5!” I say his presence threw off my game and it’s all his fault.

3) The kids were all super tired after a long, hard day of playing at Kidsburgh, and poor Glow Worm barely napped so as a result, it took him forever to fall asleep at night. Of course, because we all share a room, that meant that every time he was almost out, Cookie Monster would burst in the room and wake the poor little guy up again. I swear I almost committed bodily injury against Cookie Monster. I know he just wants to spend time with me and have my attention, but OMG GAH!

It was so sweet though. For some reason, Gamera is convinced that if she sings, Glow Worm stops crying. And it usually works. Really cute. Currently, she just sings one line of “Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star” in Chinese. Then when Glow Worm stops crying, she is so proud and says it’s because he loves her and her singing.

4) I may have mentioned it before, but it bears repeating. When I do my Gamera voice, she sounds like Miss Piggy. That’s because Gamera sounds like Miss Piggy.

5) I was so wrong. Turns out, it is Cookie Monster who has forgotten how to walk and begs Hapa Papa to carry him. I think a lot of it is because Bebe keeps wanting Hapa Papa to hold her hand and Cookie Monster is jealous and possessive. Bebe misses her dad and my guess is that Hapa Papa being here reminds her of it.

Because the kids had been doing so well, I didn’t really think anything of it, but now that I do, I suspect the kids have missed their fathers more than we thought. It makes me feel even sadder for kids who don’t have their dads around.

6) We have purchased SO MANY Chinese DVDs. I even threw in a few Kung Fu movies for myself. Heehee. You know, for my education.

7) We went to another kids’ place yesterday called Fun Kids Fun and we liked it much better than Kidsburgh. It seemed less crazy. Plus, everything is adorable! You can pay by the hour or by the day. The kids loved it. I think they may have liked it more than Kidsburgh.


































Alright. Fleur and I have to figure out where to go shovel food into our gaping maws. Have a great day!