I have thoroughly enjoyed my weekly flash fiction writing so I’m thinking I will continue into July. I will take it month by month because otherwise I will feel too much pressure and then want to die and then will stop and then feel disappointed in myself and it will spiral into sadness. You know how it is.
#JuneFlashFictionChallenge In 15 minutes or less, please write a flash fiction using any or all words in the following randomized prompt. Then post either your link or full piece in comments.
Prompt 4: beer, eradicate, rampant, burial, bewitch, immense, butterfly, entangle
The Butterfly Effect
They say never to entangle yourself with butterflies. They seem like such delicate, civilized creatures. But don’t let their gossamer wings bewitch you. They are vicious, cruel, and capricious.
Have you ever gotten in the way of a butterfly and their beer? Savages.
Their immense appetite for hops can only be rivaled by their rampant hunger for cheese. No, I’m not describing Wisconsinites. Also, you shouldn’t stereotype. It’s rude.
Yes, I’m aware of the irony. But you’re distracting me.
Let me tell you of the summer of ‘83 when the days scorched and the nights were not much improved. We were trying to eradicate locusts because those fuckers annihilate crops and are basically flying mandibles. And no, I am not of the belief that since locusts consume all our food, we should then turn them into our food.
NO THANKS.
Little did we know that our allies, the flighty pretty empty-headed butterflies were actually double-crossing us. They didn’t trust that we would stop with locusts. After all, locusts are insects and butterflies are, too if you look past their patterned wings and focus instead on the buggy, leggy things they are underneath. What was to stop us from turning on butterflies after we wiped out the locusts?
That’s right. Nothing.
The butterflies were right. Humans are not to be trusted. But then again, neither are butterflies.
But the butterflies were clever. They also knew locusts never keep their promises. It was in their nature. Locusts could no more stop their mandated swarming and chewing than butterflies could stop their addiction to beer and cheese. Dilemma.
So, the butterflies helped us destroy the locusts all the while trying to appease them and when we were flush in the throes of victory, consumed all our beer and cheese.
How then were we to live without life’s essentials? Of what use was breathing if there were not also IPAs and gouda? Our lives were lies.
It’s been decades and we have only just recovered. We tried hiding our production but the butterflies snuck in as caterpillars and enlisted bees and wasps. How could we destroy bees? We needed them to pollinate our crops for the beer!
Needless to say, we were stymied. And humiliated.
The vegans mocked us and tried to offer their fake cheeses and beers but we were not appeased. And so, the Butterfly Wars continue and will continue until the last butterfly wings are crushed beneath our feet.
