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Trying another new thing on the blog because why not?
I’ve done these type of shower thoughts (aka shitposts) type of posts before, but it’s always few and far between. But honestly, I have more stupid thoughts that are one-off amusing than I do deep ones.
Hapa Papa always mocks me and asks if I think I’m a standup comic or something. And though I don’t think I am cut out for standup comedy (not enough thick skin), I do approve of their methods of throwing out material at all times just to see if it works.
Well, perhaps not in real life because that’s annoying and no one wants to be friends with that person, but online, it’s not so bad, right?
RIGHT?
Anyhow, I present to you a sum-up of all my most amusing posts of the week on my Facebook and Twitter.
1) Uhhhh, Sasquatch (2) is the 4th child. Why don’t I know how to potty train again? HE IS TERRIFIED OF THE POTTY.
2) Sasquatch is now acting out his potty training trauma with LEGOs and assorted toys. I can’t make these things up.
3) I was today years old when I realized Aaliyah’s Rock the Boat is not about a boat.
4) Sasquatch literally just used a butter knife to pry open a box of chocolate Pocky sticks.
5) I can hear my own lungs rattling as I breathe. I hate spring.
6) Sigh. Now my lungs are seizing up because of asthma. SPRING IS HORRIBLE.
7) Gamera (7) just ran into my room demanding to nurse because she wants to taste breastmilk. I say ok. She tries to nurse all the while laughing nervously. She says all she tastes is boob. I squeezed breastmilk into her open mouth and she ran away screaming EW.
First of all, I have drank my own breastmilk and it isn’t ew. Second of all, when did this become my life?! Third of all, Sasquatch just gave me a recap of everything that happened and then demanded to nurse.
8) Gamera is now having a night terror. Do you think it was the breastmilk? I kid. I am also sad because night terrors are the worst. Good thing Hapa Papa is a good parent and went to comfort her while I’m dicking around on FB and writing blog posts about BTS. We all have our roles in life and that is mine.
9) Just caught Glow Worm (5) and Sasquatch trying to sled down the stairs in a laundry basket. The stairs lead into a wall. WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY.
10) You guuuuuuuuuyyyyyysss, my body really despises me. Now that my lungs are finally semi-working, my digestive system has decided to crap out on me. Literally. Also? Rude. You’re welcome!
11) I spoke too soon. My lungs are back on strike.
12) Sigh. People be strolling thru Costco like it’s Lover’s Lane. MOVE, PEOPLE.
13) For those of you keeping score at home, Sasquatch is at his 6th bag of microwave popcorn today. Also, on his zero potty sitting of the week. #sasquatchalwayswins
Now, don’t you wish you knew me in real life so we could be Facebook friends? Well, FOMO no longer. (Or at least, until I stop doing these roundups.)
Thanks for reading and I hope to have brightened your day just a tiny bit.
