Now that 2018 is almost a full month in, I’m realizing that on top of the things I want to add to my life, there are things I want to leave behind, too.
I know. You’re shocked. How could someone as awesome as me have behaviors that are holding me back?
Well, table your disbelief. It’s true.
So, without further ado, here are 3 things I’m leaving behind in 2018:
I know I posted about this last year (and a few other times in the past), and in general, I’m not a particularly jealous person. However, these past few months, I can feel the green-eyed monster wanting to make a comeback.
Part of it is that I am now more aware of other bloggers, other people, and what my life could be thanks to the ever-present social media. And part of it is that I know a lot of people doing really cool things.
Well, I am going to take my own advice.
When I catch myself feeling jealous, I’m going to use it as a signal to my soul.
Am I jealous because I want what that other person has? Or because I’m unhappy with some aspect of my life? Or because I haven’t really thought through what it means to have what that person has?
Whatever the reason, I need to figure it out, and then decide what I want to do with that information.
If I want what the other person has, am I willing to do what it takes to get it? If I’m unhappy with part of my life, am I willing to make the changes necessary? If I haven’t really thought something through, now that I have, is is something I still want?
What Other People Are Doing
This is very similar to the previous point and honestly, it’s totally because of social media. Just like I advised myself to go after the things I want – especially if I’m jealous of someone else having it, I have to be okay with the fact that other people may see me in the same light.
It’s weird to think about because I don’t particularly feel as if my life is so amazing to be jealous over, but I’m sure the people I covet feel the same way about their lives. (And if they don’t, I don’t want to know because that kind of annoys me even though I know that’s healthy and an enviable state but hey, I’m just not that zen. Yet.)
Anyhow, this is just to say that I’m going to stop worrying about people who may have a similar idea as I do or do similar things I do.
I mean, who do I think I am?
There is nothing new – on the internet or otherwise.
Why shouldn’t other people pursue their best life and what they want? I mean, haven’t I just told myself to do the same? Who cares if they have a similar blog name or like the same things I like? THAT MEANS THEY HAVE GREAT TASTE.
And even if it’s a little less innocent, the internet is big enough.
I do not believe in a zero sum game. Therefore, I MUST believe that not only is there a Big Pie, that there are INFINITE BIG PIES. And, THAT WE CAN ALL HAVE PIE.
So, instead of worrying about what other people are doing, I’m going to worry about myself and what I’m doing because that’s the one thing I’ve got that no one else can be. (And vice versa.)
Giving Energy to Trolls
Yes, yes. We all know we’re not supposed to feed the trolls. But you see, I have a Fatal Flaw. And this fatal flaw is FATAL.
I can’t help it. I always have to have the last word. The thought of leaving stupidity uncontested in the entirety of the internet is physically painful to me. And though in general I am capable of scrolling on by the most egregious of examples, I am really bad about getting sucked into things that are slightly more personal to me.
I obsess and screenshot and bitch to my friends about how awful these stupid people are, but you know what?
The real stupid person is me.
These idiots are out idioting, completely oblivious (or maybe not so oblivious) to the wreckage of my emotions as I hate and seethe and rant about them.
I only have so much energy. I have four kids. I homeschool. In Chinese. I write. For my job.
I need a clear head space.
WHY DO I GIVE THESE PEOPLE POWER OVER ME?
So, this year is the year I try to make my fatal flaw less fatal-y. Maybe we can downgrade to just a flesh wound flaw and over time, it can diminish to a papercut flaw? (Hmmmm… papercuts are really painful and annoying for something so small so maybe not that. But you get the idea.)
What do these all have in common?
They deal with other people and my agency.
In case you’re new around here, I’m somewhat of a control freak. I would blame it on me being a Virgo but I think basing my personality and life on the movements of distant stars and planets thousands of years ago is a bit ummmm… non-scientific.
But, hey. To each their own.
Anyhow, 2018 will be the year I take deep cleansing breaths instead of screaming at the stupidity of other people (which I cannot control). Perhaps by being more gracious and whatever to other people, I can be more gracious to myself when I act the fool as well.
I mean, even in the course of writing this post, I have encountered at least 3 morons on the internet that I am trying very hard not to swat.
So, you know. It’s a work in progress.
What are you trying to leave behind in 2018? Let me know in the comments.