It Turns Out I Am Not a Great Judge of Character

This post includes affiliate links. If you click on them, It doesn’t affect what you pay and helps me cover costs of this newsletter and my sites.

First, I want to welcome all my new besties I met President’s Day Weekend at LoveLitCon in San Diego. HIIIIIII! Thanks for signing up—even if it was just to win my K-pop care package.

(Please don’t leave me.)

Strap in (or strap on AAAYYY), and welcome to the unhinged chaos of my loud and oversharing mind.

Truly, I don’t even know how to start up this newsletter again. I both can and can’t believe that the last time I forced myself into your inbox was in October.

OCTOBER!!!

And now, I feel SO MUCH PRESSURE to make this newsletter THE BEST THING YOU HAVE EVER READ or just cry and send out something perfunctory so that I can say IT IS FINISHED and now the pressure’s off.

It’s a combination of BESTIE I HAVE TO TELL YOU ALL THE THINGS and IT IS TOO MUCH I AM OVERWHELM.

Guess which side I’ve landed on for the past four months?

Anyhow, as with last time, you will find the following in today’s newsletter (feel free to skip to those parts):

1. Personal note
2. What brought me joy this week!
3. What challenged me
4. What else?
5. Support and love our community
6. Tell me more

Personal note

OKOKOKOKOKOK So, TL;DR on what’s happened since October: my kids are alive, some of them are fucking up their academics and it’s stressing me out, and oh, I finally realized that I’ve been scammed by a BTS bestie out of approximately 32k.

Yes, yes. Way to bury the lede, but HAHAHAHHAHA what else can I do but laugh?

I’d give you more details, but it’s a really long story, and ultimately boils down to this: I saw all the warning signs. My family and friends told me it was a scam, and still, I doggedly chose to back a person I felt doubts about but did not want to believe could do this to me.

In other words, THIS DUMB BITCH (this dumb bitch being me) royally fucked up.

At least the part of me who perversely indulges in a humiliation kink now has fodder for years. Plus, if this isn’t the perfect vulnerable but not really vulnerable open to any conversation, I don’t know what is. If there’s anything I love, it’s a good fucking story that simultaneously makes me look like a good person and an idiot.

THE HUMILITY AND THE HUMANITY!! I LOVE MESS! (Just usually other people’s mess, not my own.)

What brought me joy

OK, super nerdy, but I finally learned keyboard shortcuts for moving windows to different monitors. In case this also brings you an absurd amount of joy, here are the MUST KNOWS:

Move Window to Another Monitor
If you want to move your window between multiple monitors, use these keyboard shortcuts:

Win + Shift + Left Arrow: move a window to the monitor on the left
Win + Shift + Right Arrow: move a window to the monitor on the right

Also, I got to hang out with a LOT of old friends in the Los Angeles and San Diego areas this last weekend. It was just such a balm to my soul to be around people I didn’t have to give as much context to about my personhood and personality. The difficulty, of course, was that their context for me was also slightly out of date. But it worked anyway, and I miss them already.

Ok, one more joy thingy because otherwise, I’ll just keep going.

I binge watched Jason Statham movies a few weeks ago and it was everything I had hoped it would be. Yes, like Liam Neeson, Statham has made the same movie a bjillion times, and just like Liam Neeson movies, I find them supremely comforting in their sameness.

Plus, who doesn’t love a balding middle-aged man who kicks ass, has an accent, and can’t stand nonsense? NOT ME, THAT’S WHO.

What challenged me

As I mentioned before, I was massively betrayed by someone who I thought of as an extremely close friend, and that has been difficult to process. My only recourse is humor and a huge dose of self-deprecation because if we cannot laugh through our sorrow, what’s the point?

Also, I went to my first book conference ever. AND I SURVIVED!

I was really worried about it because I don’t particularly consider myself a romance writer, and this conference focused on romance. I felt like a massive fraud.

I wasn’t expecting to sell a lot of books, nor was I sure what I was doing there other than the fact that I know the co-founders. However, my good friend and public speaker Jeff Harry asked me to think about what I wanted, and to shoot for that.

Turns out, what I wanted was to meet people who want to tell or read stories that aren’t being told already. I know, that sounds super vague, but I don’t know how else to phrase it without disparaging what’s popular and that other folks really love.

Let’s just say that I find most of what’s out there to be a good turkey sandwich. Like, turkey sandwiches are fantastic! I love turkey sandwiches! But I also love a good pastrami on rye with extra mustard, pickles, banana peppers, and an occasional jalapeno. I also like them with olives, but FUCKING SUBWAY NO LONGER HAS THEM LIKE WHAT AND WHY UGH!!

I not only like sandwich adjacent foods like hamburgers and wraps, I also like foods that are not in the sandwich category at all! And forget about food categories, let’s talk world cuisine! Show me a noodle dish, and I will show you me, blissed out in a carb coma!

This metaphor has run away with me, but yes. Give me all the foods and all the stories, just not the same ones (even though their sameness is perfectly valid and if you like them, yay for you—I’m happy you get to read them!).

Anyhow, all this to say is that I met with people I vibe with and will happily read their books!

What else

Folks, I would love to say that I read a lot and watch a lot of books and shows full of culture and depth, but that’s simply not true. I just go with vibes and sometimes, that leads me to amazing shit that everyone else already talked about years ago but I’m super behind, or it sends me on rabbit holes from which I cannot extricate myself, or I try a lot of what I find to be poop but others might adore.

Since I hate shitting on stuff (both because it’s hard to make stuff and because I’d much rather focus on what I love), here is a random list of what I’ve consumed lately that YOU SHOULD TOTALLY CHECK OUT.

1. “Next in Fashion” on Netflix. I’ve only just finished Season 1, but this reality fashion show (think “Project Runway” but actually diverse) is full of POC, WOC, and queer folks. Whether they’re contestants or judges, I love love love how diverse the people are. It translates into viewpoint, voices, and fashion.
2. “Physical 100 Asia” on Netflix. TEAM MONGOLIAAAAAAA is all I have to say. I also LOVELOVELOVE Eddie Williams from Team Ozzie, and it’s just so wholesome and fantastic.
3. “The Sandman” on Netflix. Yes, yes. Neil Gaiman is canceled, but LET US NOT CANCEL THIS FANTASTIC SHOW. Season 2 came out and I DEVOURED AND I LOVED.
4. “Altered Carbon” by Richard K. Morgan. I really loved the sequel, and it combines everything I love in books: sci-fi, morally ambiguous leads, and lots of violence and commentary on that violence. LOVE.
5. “Typhoon” by Luke Chiang (fka Lucas Chiang). This latest album by Taiwanese American singer/songwriter is everything I wanted! Hey, sometimes, we don’t want an artist’s sound to evolve. We just want more of the same. And after a long hiatus due to illness, Chiang is back with his signature indie sound. ADORE his baritone!!
6. “No Labels: Part 01” by Yeonjun from TXT. What a rock-inspired first album by TXT’s Yeonjun! Thoroughly enjoyed the vibe and sound. So sexy and rawr!
7. “Finding Your Roots” clips on Ancestry channel in YouTube. Listen, the way I want this for myself, but am too lazy to go digging in my own family history because OMG, that requires just way too much executive function.
8. Videos about ancient humans like Neanderthals and Denisovans on YouTube. One, it’s fascinating. But two, it’s research for a fantasy book I have in mind.

Honestly, I don’t know that I have much else to say at the moment (sorry to disappoint). But rest assured, once I get back into the swing of things, YOU SHALL REGRET BEING DISAPPOINTED.

Support and love our community

Finally, because I mentioned the GoFundMe in my newsletter for my friend and her mom’s eye surgery, I feel the need to say something.

Recently this friend has been outed as Bora (@bora_twts on X, fka Twitter), and the GFM I ran for her has also been used as “receipts” for being part of the scam.

I totally understand if you are upset that the money went to Bora given the recent allegations. (I, too, am dismayed and processing everything being shared.) Since I created the GFM and distributed the funds to her, I feel a responsibility to provide this update.

So, here is what I want you to know:

1. I ran the GFM for Bora because she wanted to stay anonymous and keep her mother’s health privacy (which seemed reasonable at the time).
2. I did know that the GFM was for Bora.
3. At the time of the GFM, I did not know about any of the scam allegations against her.
4. I vouched for Bora based on my personal experiences with her through our now 5 year friendship.
5. The total amount raised was $1,875 USD, and I sent her the money over several transactions through either Venmo or Paypal. If you want proof of that, I’d be happy to either send you screenshots and/or log into my Venmo/Paypal to show you live on a Zoom.
6. I do not have proof what she spent the money on after it was sent to her. I did not ask for receipts at the time because she was a friend, and I trusted her to use the money for her family in whatever way she saw fit. I have since asked for receipts, and I will update if/when I receive them.

Again, I want to reiterate that I did not know about the scam allegations when the GFM was created and shared on April 17, 2024. In hindsight, I should have asked for proof of medical bills before running a GFM on her behalf.

To all affected, I wish for a just resolution.

Tell me more

Yes, I know. It is in fact YOU who want ME to tell you more, but alas, I am not. I defy your expectations!!! I choose narrative shortcuts! Sucks for youuuuuu!

No, but truly, I’m tired of processing it, and it hurts my heart and ego, and when I’m ready, I’ll tell you more than you ever cared to know.

So, in classic deflection mode (and also, I truly am interested), TELL ME MORE ABOUT YOU, BESTIE!!

It’s been four months! Four extremely auspicious months, I hope! (I’m Chinese/Taiwanese. It’s a cultural mandate for me to mention the word auspicious at least once during Lunar New Year.)

Catch me up on what’s new with you. Have you ever fallen victim to a scam—no matter how big or small? HAS ANYONE EVER BETRAYED AND DECEIVED YOU, AND IF SO, TELL ME AND WE RIDE AT DAWN!

Alright, until next time, may you be full of snacks and nutrients (I guess).