Hallooooooo!!! I know you likely thought I’d nope out this week since I wrote something last week, but it’s my priority to write this newsletter today—my ONE THING to move the needle forward today. I don’t know what the needle is, but I’m hoping it’s inertia and that chatting with all my internet besties will make me feel like I accomplished something for myself, and that I’ll take from this and run with it.
I just finished my second week applying the next level ADHD system for getting things done, and while I’ve modified it to fit my lifestyle (and possibly, make it less effective), I’ve gotten enough things done that I feel like it’s made a positive difference in my life.
Plus, since I finished the second week, I get to reward myself with either a boba or chicken wings! WIN! My next reward is if I make it to a month (gotta stretch and not get complacent). CAN I DO IT? (I think so.)
As with last week, you will find the following in today’s newsletter (feel free to skip to those parts):
- Personal note
- What brought me joy this week!
- What challenged me
- What else?
- Support and love our community
- Tell me more
Personal note
What I appreciate most about this system/framework is that it reframes my tasks from a what to a when. One of the more impactful concepts for me is that ADHD isn’t a problem of what. I know what to do. It’s that I have no concept of how long it takes to do, and when I can put it into my schedule to do it.
They recommend we only have 2 to-do lists: Opt out and Scheduled. For our Opt out list, we either do a task right away (if it can be done) or we schedule it on the calendar. That’s been a game changer!
Now, my days are a lot more fluid and I don’t particularly enjoy scheduling every moment of my day, so I have times where I set aside in my day to knock out the low hanging fruit of 1-3 tasks on my Opt out list. But other tasks, I look in my schedule to see pockets where I can get it done. As a result, I often realize that I simply do not have enough pockets of time to do the things I want to do.
While that may seem terrible, it’s actually great news. Now I don’t have to feel bad about not doing something—because I literally do not have the time for it. And then I look for a better time to schedule it. If I keep putting it off, maybe I just don’t do the thing after all—another sort of freedom.
What brought me joy
I really liked using bullet points last week, so I’m going to do it again this week. Here, in no particular order or even explanation, are some things that have brought me joy this week:
- Ordering Pilot Precise V5 pens that are RETRACTABLE and REFILLABLE! Thanks to the Mochi Mag best pen bracket that we did last month, I realized that the Pilot Precise pens that I stopped using because they felt wasteful are now refillable! SOLD!
- Gamera’s (14) birthday party and seeing her friends adore Kitsune (2)
- Kistune is so ROUND
- Got poke from Costco to thank myself for birthing Gamera
- Connecting with friends during various parts of the week
- Texting conversations with my brother
- Chugging along my “empty” challenge (wherein I try to use up as much of my stuff as possible)
- Shockingly: I enjoy cutting fruit for my kids
- Watching Kitsune play act and imagine scenarios with dolls and toys
- SSRIs are amazing like TRULY TRULY TRULY
- Glow Worm (12) got a 15/15 on his vocab test after we worked hard all week to help him study
What challenged me
And just like last time, here are a bunch of challenges I faced:
- Continued to not finish writing Book 3
- SSRIs make me sleepyyyyyyy
- I don’t know if my room will ever be tidy
- I drank way too many disgusting teas in an effort to finish things. I decided throwing things away counted as finishing.
- Realizing I only have 3 more years left with Cookie Monster (15) before he goes off to college
- Sasquatch (8) is quite a different beast from all my other children and he complains SOOOOOOO much about schoolwork—and I know we do so much less than other kids in a local school
- Mostly, I’m just sleepy
What else
SSRIs really are a miracle. I’m annoyed that I was so afraid of them for so long. Like, what a life changing medication. Truly.
I think I finally understand how people can meditate. Like, I feel so zen. ZEN! I’m just so unbothered. Like, not numb or uncaring, and of course, things annoy me and bother me, but my body doesn’t freak out anymore.
There are so many situations where my body would just break out into sweat, my stomach churning, and my body preparing to fight or flee and instead, now I’m like, oh, yes. Deal with the thing. Say the thing. Move on from the thing.
For instance, some asshole teenagers were pissed I changed into their lane when they were about 50ft away, They were speeding so they held down their horn and pulled up super close to my rear bumper, which of course, caused me to slow down even more. Then they cut to my left and cussed me out and said all sorts of dumb shit about my hair and being old and ugly.
Normally, my blood pressure would spike and I’dve gotten super upset. Instead, I didn’t feel any different. Of course, the problem was that I VERY CALMLY flipped them off and said, “Have fun staying virgins.”
So yay for not getting upset. Boo for not giving a shit when I say shit back. My brother said my zen was his super pissed, which makes me laugh and laugh and laugh.
I’m going to have to figure this thing out because until now, my body’s terrified reaction would signal to my brain that DANGER DANGER and maybe I should proceed with caution. But now, I do not have this signaling system and I will just say the horrible thing with zero qualms.
This is my villain origin story.
Support and love our community
My brain is drawing a blank and even though I encounter so many worthy causes every week, of course I don’t remember to note them. (Listen, I’ve cut down my phone screen time by a TON. It’s a really big problem!)
Instead of telling you yet another cause or worthy institution to donate money or time to, I want you to consider your own community. It can be as simple as donating a coat to the annual coat drive at school, preparing allergen free snacks/toys during Halloween for kids with food allergies, or volunteering at your local food pantry.
One thing I started doing last holiday season and just kept going throughout the year was to leave out drinks and snacks for the delivery folks to take at their leisure. It may not be the most exciting of snacks and just bottles of water, but it brings me great joy to refill the box throughout the week.
Let’s try to make our communities places where people feel belonging and appreciation.
Tell me more
YES, WE DID IT!!
One more week under our belts, and one more week of me remembering to write this newsletter. I forgot how much I loved and enjoyed the experience!
I hope you remember how much you are loved and valued—and not just for what you do/provide, but just for existing. It’s a tough season for so many of us. Sometimes, resistance is just choosing to believe that we are worthy. We are valuable. We are amazing outside of our contributions to capitalism.
We can just be.
May you have a week full of chaotic joy!
