This Cover of “Sex Is on Fire” Is a Crime Against Music

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You’d think that with my throat clearing newsletter of last week, it would be easier to write this week’s. WELL, YOU’D THINK WRONG!

The problem is always that I don’t know where to start because there is both so much to say and NOTHING TO SAY AT ALL. Apparently, it’s this kind of black and white/all-or-nothing thinking that is a hallmark of ADHD, and I have it in spades.

So, I’ll just jump in again like no time has passed (another symptom of ADHD: time blindness) and I’ll continue as if we’re in the middle of a never-ending conversation. That way, I don’t have to figure out a beginning, middle, or end.

Incidentally, (or not, actually,) I’m in the middle of a “can’t find the right/satisfying thing to eat” phase right now, and I’d like it to end ASAP. Nothing is hitting my taste buds in the metaphorical bullseye, and NO THANKS I HATE IT.

I can’t decide if I want sweet or savory, crunchy or chewy, good for me or chockful of artificial flavors. I don’t know if it’s a symptom of perimenopause, but if it is, TAKE IT BACK!

Has this happened to you before? And how did you exit that unending negative feedback loop? (We ask life’s most difficult questions and conundrums here, folks!)

With that fascinating quandary as a segue, as with last time, you will find the following in today’s newsletter (feel free to skip to those parts):

1. Personal note
2. What brought me joy this week!
3. What challenged me
4. What else?
5. Support and love our community
6. Tell me more

Personal note

After last week’s newsletter, I was so touched that so many of you replied with words of support, kindness, and even commiseration. I’m so sorry—and indignant—that there are so many shady people out there, preying on the goodness and optimism of folks.

Like, please. We all just want to experience a reasonable modicum of joy, health, and fun. We’re even willing to suffer our allotment of suffering! So why are scammy people out here, trying to pull one over us?

It seems like way more effort to deceive folks and be a general asshole than it is to work an actual job. BUT MAYBE THAT’S JUST ME AND MY INABILITY TO REMEMBER WHAT WORK WAS LIKE.

And also, maybe being a scam artist is like my being a baseline asshole at heart: perhaps it’s easy for some folks to lie and cheat. I guess I’m glad they can live in their true calling? (But seriously, where do we draw the line at living out our passions and fulfilling our potential? And if there isn’t a line, THERE REALLY SHOULD BE ONE.)

ALSO ALSO, THIS WAS YOUR OPPORTUNITY TO PROTEST AND SAY NO, NO, VIRGINIA. YOU ARE NOT A BASELINE ASSHOLE. YOU ARE A SUPERLATIVE ASSHOLE.

Like, completely missed opportunity there, friends. I’m so disappointed.

What brought me joy

Also, I’m so pleased that I’m not the only one who benefited from those keyboard shortcuts I shared last week. I would dispense more amazing tips today, but alas, I do not have any.

Every time it comes to this section on my daily Chaotic Joy on social media, I find that I repeatedly choose moments in my day that build community in my own life. Whether it’s hanging out with friends on Zoom/IRL to co-work, catch up, or even sweet moments with my toddler.

(I’d include sweet moments with my older kids, but I find that is the challenge: spending enough time to make them! This is not because they’re bad kids: it’s solely because I’m always holed up in my room.)

If you follow me on Instagram and see the random shit I re-gram or post to stories, that also brings me a ridiculous amount of joy. I’m sure even my good friends are befuddled by my algorithm, but just know that I curated it brick-by-chaotic-brick.

Of course, my feed offers me lots of hot Asian men (and men in general), but it also proffers hot women/femmes/nbs, educational/nerdy content, cool dance choreo, TERRIBLE dance choreo, puns, chonky babies, incredible stupidity, horrifying stupidity, and general absurdity. Thus, if you should choose to make the ill-advised decision to follow me on Instagram, then you, too, shall see the evidence of my super chaotic mind.

Personally, I find myself to be a delightful arrangement of the esoteric, socially aware, and junk food of the internet. Perhaps you are my people? (If you’re still reading my newsletter regularly, I’m assuming you’re my people.)

ALSO ALSO

THE BTS COMEBACK TRAILER ON NETFLIX JUST DROPPED AND THE WAY I AM IN SHAMBLES!!! THE WAY MY HEART RATE WON’T CTFD!!!!

BTS THE COMEBACK LIVE | ARIRANG | Official Trailer | Netflix – YouTube

What challenged me

As I mentioned above, I’ve started slacking on my kids’ academics because quite frankly, ONE CAN ONLY BE SO ATTENTIVE. But, this month, (omgerd, it’s MARCH HWY HWUT HWEN??) I am resolving to get back on the proverbial horse again.

Ok, to be fair to myself, it’s not that I completely slacked—more than I paid attention more to some kids than others. And since education is malleable, and our children’s brains are, too, I think I’m okay?

Mostly, I’m finally starting to feel like I want to do ALL THE THINGS, but then realizing that I cannot, in fact, do all the things. And if logistics are my biggest challenge in this short and fleeting life, I am not going to complain too much about it.

But, BUT, since venting about life’s minor inconveniences is what bonds humans together—and nothing like someone bragging about their perfect life to draw haters and the evil eye or whatever it’s called—so, in an effort to placate my adoring public, I will now talk about something completely stupid that actually stoked up rage in my highly medicated body (which is quite a feat).

Yesterday, when I was in a digital waiting room before interviewing talent, the lovely moderator was streaming Spotify’s Cozy Coffeehouse Covers Playlist. But instead of relaxing and soothing (which, when I’m in a coffeehouse, I don’t mind), it was fury-inducing.

Why, you may ask. Well, dear reader, LET ME TELL YOU.

This list featured songs of my youth—like songs with soul-crushing pathos, rage, confusion, sorrow—and robbed them of all their teeth. Yes, yes. I understand the coffeehouse vibe—and quite possibly, if I were working instead of trying to regulate some mild anxiety and thus, concentrating on both the lyrics and performance—I wouldn’t have minded.

But to flatten such soulful classics like “Stand By Me,” “As It Was,” “Love Yourself,” “Don’t You Want Me,” or “Sex Is on Fire” into such bland, milquetoast inoffensiveness was in itself, offensive. It was the musical equivalent of a La Croix.

Friends, you truly have to be in a particular wallpaper mood to enjoy such insipid, inert pabulum.

While I don’t want to tell people what to enjoy or to shit on their unseasoned chicken, I find this phenomenon increasing across the board—whether it be music, fiction, art, or ideas. This both deeply saddens and galvanizes me.

Perhaps if I’m not the only one sick of mediocrity, we can start platforming folks who exist at various intersections of genre, identity, and medium.

I know I’m biased because I read and write stories that don’t fit into any particular defined box. (No, this is not me being a special snowflake. I have confounded most book-people, and that’s okay.)

Truthfully, what I want is to normalize the writing found in the best of fan fiction: deeply moving stories that are cross-genre, tackle issues in unique and frustrating ways, and are wildly creative and transgressive.

I’m hoping that the more I slowly start interacting with the parts of bookfluencers that I fuck with, the more I can discover the amazing stories that are already out there.

Also^3, WHY CAN’T I GET THREADS TO WORK IN MY DESKTOP BROWSERS? It doesn’t work no matter how many times I clear my cache, log out, restart my computer, or what browser I use. Is this a sign to only post on BlueSky? BUT BUT BUT I LOVE THREADS IT’S SO UNHINGED.

What else

Ohohohoh, let me share some of the cool stuff I’ve consumed lately:

• The “Star Talk” podcast co-hosted by astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson and comedian Chuck Nice. I love nerdery, physics (but in layperson’s terms), space, science, and funny, so their episodes (which I listen on minimum 2x) hit the spot.
• I’m approximately halfway through the 2017 K-drama “A Korean Odyssey” that is loosely based on the Chinese classic “Journey to the West,” and it’s so delightfully campy! I don’t really know what’s happening, but I’m adoring the actor Cha Seung-won who plays Woo Ma-wong (Niú Mówáng) and Lee Se-young as Jung Se-ra, the zombie (Báigǔjīng) character.
• K-drama “The Art of Sarah” on Netflix is also a fantastic series I recently finished watching. The way I love cons and murder procedurals!! So satisfying!!
• I also binge-watched all “The Expendables” movies (why yes, there are 4), and they are so stupid, I thoroughly enjoyed all the inside jokes, old action movie stars, the hotness of Jason Statham, and the understated hilarity of Jet Li.
• I finished “Prince of the Undying” by Karen Kincy, my neighbor at the LoveLitCon author signing. It’s the first book of 2026 (I better catch up because I am BEHIND on all my NetGalley arcs), and it’s a fast-paced, action-packed, romantasy featuring a necromancer and a badass biracial heroine set in an alternate pre-WWII world. Thoroughly enjoyable!
• My IG algorithm gods sent me to WickdConfections, and she’s perfection. She preserves Black American recipes and not only is she stunningly gorgeous, informative, and talented, she is also doing her part in sharing American history. I don’t care at all about cooking or recipes, but I do love history, and I love her account.

Alright, I think that’s it for now.

Support and love our community

Nothing here today.

Mostly because part of me is still really embarrassed to post GoFundMes or fundraisers or anything monetarily related thanks to being scammed. Like, can I even be a trustworthy person from whom you judge someone’s worthiness of qualifying for mutual aid?

Wow, that was a clunker of a paragraph and I’m so close to the finish line that I’M NOT GONNA DO A DAMN THING ABOUT IT.

Tell me more

Alright, you know what to do. Any advice for me for my minor annoyances? Any cool shit you want to share with me? Do YOU need to get anything off your chestal area? Email me back and let me know. (I actually responded to people last time, so you know, it’s a new era.)