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I revamped my site this past week! I’m super proud of the new look, and I hope you’ll take the time to pop over and poke around to check out my new digs.
Though no one was asking for a revamp and the old site was working just fine, as with many things that I end up doing in my life, I finally decided to change it up because I didn’t want to work on an article. Why, yes, dear reader. I do do better with evenly spaced out deadlines because I get things done while procrastinating other work.
Of course, I promptly broke my site even before I activated the new theme. (It was a problem with the old theme, but I find it sus that it happened to break right when I was trying to change things.) Thankfully, my hosting service Big Scoots is incredibly responsive. I know they’re more expensive than services like BlueHost, but they’re like having your own website IT department. It’s so rare to experience excellent and non-frustrating service nowadays, I find the slightly higher cost so that people can make a living wage completely worth it.
Anyhow, as with last week, you will find the following in today’s newsletter (feel free to skip to those parts):
- Personal note
- What brought me joy this week!
- What challenged me
- What else?
- Support and love our community
- Tell me more
Personal note
The end of the year always makes me feel a combination of panic, excitement, and reflection. I look forward to the new year and new goals, even though I know that nothing really changes from December 31 to January 1. It’s just a randomly demarcated day, and any day can be the start of a new year.
Plus, I don’t know if I’m a naturally optimistic person or actually delusional—because again, I don’t become a completely different person just because it’s a different year—and yet, I’m always convinced I am going to accomplish BIG THINGS.
I don’t knock it too much, though. Because even though I don’t hit all my goals, I hit a few along the way, and I collect a few more dreams realized than if I didn’t make a concerted effort to make them happen.
Anyway, this year, I published two novels—the latest, “Weightless,” which just came out two weeks ago! (OMG has it only been two weeks, it feels like it’s been a whole year.) I took my kids to Seoul and Taipei for the summer, and I kept 5 children alive!! I started a podcast and we’re wrapping up Season 1 of Brazn Azn next week. We’ve already begun recording Season 2, which is WILD to me. Plus, people seem to want to be on the show!! WILD!
What brought me joy this week!
First, I would like to offer a video of my toddler saying, “No.” You want a timeline cleanse? This will do that for you! What a joy she is. Yay! Baby learning boundaries! While you’re there, follow me on Instagram.
Also, it’s officially peppermint bark season at Costco and I will now throw down $9.99 on a box every freaking week until the first week of January. I don’t make the rules!
Every few months, I run a salon (newly dubbed the Chaotic Joy Salon) where we do exactly what I’m trying to do with this newsletter. We share a joy, share a challenge, and then the other participants respond to what we shared. It’s our third one this year, and truly, I can’t properly explain how these sessions makes me feel because it seems so basic and simple. Like, why does it move and challenge me so much?
And yet, I always come out of them deeply energized, seen, and amazed that I know such generous, talented, and supportive people. This is what I want networking to be: not just transactional, but a true seeing of one another as people with joys, pains, and desires to grow.
I think these Chaotic Joy Salons are the best thing I’ve done this whole year.
Let me know if you want more info about how I run them, and if you want to replicate them for yourself. It’s too good to keep just to myself and friends.
Oh, and I binge watched the whole season of “Cross” on Prime Video. Fantastic acting, hot cast (like omg so hot ALDIS HODGE and ISAIAH MUSTAFA), a thriller, and it’s only 8 episodes. Don’t judge me. I can never get into C-dramas because they’re terrible until they hit the 6th or 8th episode and WHO HAS THE TIME? My only beef is with the platform. Like Prime, Disney+, Hulu—WHY NO 1.5X?!?
Finally, MUSTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARD!
Drake suing UMG and Spotify about a scheme to “artificially inflate” Kendrick Lamar’s “Not Like Us” makes me laugh so hard. I don’t know if it qualifies as joy so much as glee, and also, I don’t care. I immediately streamed “Not Like Us” and then his new album “GNX” as soon as I read the headline. Like, please. PLEASE.
What challenged me
Honestly, my main challenge is my daily life with a toddler. It’s not hard, and at the same time, it’s so hard. I am constantly at the whims of a tiny, opinionated human, who for some reason, loves me so much. Kitsune (22mos) loves me so much that she has to be touching me, sitting on me, around me, and seeing me at all times. It’s super cute, and also, I used to be a person. And after my last child, I mercifully had a few years of being a person again before getting pregnant with my 5th. But now, it’s difficult not to feel resentful, as if Kitsune had any say in being brought into this ridiculous world we live in.
She’s a delight and so clever and smart and I am joyous she exists AND I am tired and wish I had more time to do things I want to do. (I also feel super selfish saying this because compared to many of my friends and peers, I have a LOT of free time to do what I want because my husband, Not Yoongi, is super supportive and a fantastic partner.)
Anyhow, my Brazn Azn podcast co-host Stella and I talk about this a lot in our episodes. I can’t even remember which one, but the feeling is a part of us as people, and therefore, a part of our podcast. A lot of folks have mentioned their favorite part about our podcast is that it’s like you’re overhearing older sisters chatting at a nearby table about topics you’ve thought about yourself.
Our whole goal with the Brazn Azn podcast is to broaden what it means to be Asian American, to make people feel seen and known, so the fact that people feel that way about our episodes is really special.
What else
As I mentioned, my novel “Weightless” has been out two weeks! If you like steamy, angsty stories full of messy people who have to move on from guilt and forgive themselves, all in the backdrop of K-pop, check out my book.
Here’s a random clip from the book (that always makes me laugh):
Katie flicked her blue-blond bangs out of her eyes. “Wait, so are you my boyfriend now?”
The abrupt change in topic surprised a laugh out of Jae-sung. He grinned, knowing full well his dimples were out on display and that they made Katie weak.
“I can be, if you want. I can be whatever you want me to be.”
“In that case, can you be a pastrami sandwich?”
For the first time in years, I’ll be cooking Thanksgiving dinner. But since I’m not a fan of turkey, (yes, yes, even when it’s good, it’s still TURKEY), it’s going to be just a regular dinner except with mashed potatoes, stuffing, gravy, and homemade cranberry sauce. We’ll also have three rotisserie chickens, noodles, roasted vegetables, salad, ribs, and rice (because we’re Asian). We’re going extra fancy and drinking Izze sodas along with our classic Martinelli’s apple cider.
Support and love our community
Now, for my favorite part of my newsletter! Two items I want to draw your attention to this week. Please consider giving money or donating to your local food bank. We’ve been giving $150 a month for at least a decade to ours. This puts us in the top 5% of donors every year, which I find appalling.
In this holiday season and as you plan your giving for 2025, I encourage you to set up a monthly contribution (or at least a reminder to donate during the summer months, which are notoriously low on donations). The thought of hungry children makes me both sad and angry (and also why I really love the free lunch program in California). All children deserve to have food security.
My second highlight is Boozhoo Books, the new publishing imprint for Bindery! Imprint founder and book influencer Naomi Darling says “…the purpose of Boozhoo Books is to promote and uplift Native voices and to get more representation on the shelves. The demand for our stories is there. There are many stories out there created by talented Native authors of different backgrounds waiting to be told and I can’t wait to share some with the world.”
Join her reader community in Bindery (it’s free) and get on board with publishing Indigenous books! Indigenous stories deserve to be told, and this is one way to support Indigenous authors.
Tell me more
And finally, how are you feeling about Thanksgiving week (if you’re in the US)? Otherwise, how is your week going?
I know it may seem weird to write to me about your life, so don’t feel as if you need to. I just want to make sure that you have the support you need. So, if you have people for that purpose in your life already, I’m so happy to hear that!
May you have a week full of chaotic joy!
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