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I love big families. Something about growing up isolated from our extended families due to distance and differing ideologies made me want a lot of kids (I originally wanted four but got a bonus baby).
Thankfully, we have enough resources and desire to have all these children and to make sure they’re all properly cared for and attended to. Yes, they’re a handful. Yes, sometimes, I feel like I’m going crazy. Yes, I could be spending all that money on BTS.
But, I don’t regret any of the tiny humans I grew in my body. Do I regret how these choices have sometimes limited what I can and cannot do? Of course. I am only human.
This is why I often counsel people NOT to have so many children—not because I don’t love my kids, but because I’m very aware of how my choices have affected my life and the lives of others. They can all be true at the same time.
Stella and I talk about this in our 26th Brazn Azn episode, along with other risks we took that didn’t seem risky at the time. I have a lot more podcast episodes ready, but due to life circumstances, I haven’t been able to put them out. More on that in a bit.
As with last week, you will find the following in today’s newsletter (feel free to skip to those parts):
- Personal note
- What brought me joy this week!
- What challenged me
- What else?
- Support and love our community
- Tell me more
Personal note
After four j-hope concerts, the Post Concert Depression (PCD) has been hitting me extra hard—especially since I came home directly to Spring Break, five sick kids, and a whole mess of REAL LIFE that I did not particularly enjoy.
Speaking of Hobi concerts, here is my review of the LA concerts closing out his North American tour for Mochi Magazine.
I’m tired and grouchy.
What brought me joy
Honestly, I don’t know that I’ve felt particularly joyful this past week. But, I did quite enjoy the 8-episode Netflix animation “Devil May Cry.” I would describe it but I’m not quite sure what I watched lol. It’s demon hunting, half-demons, and um, lots of gratuitous violence. I told my kids to watch, but there is a lot of swearing and some sexual jokes. It’s based off of a video game, and the music soundtrack has kicked off an Evanescence binge because YES.
Oh, I did read Thien-Kim Lam’s new romance novel “Something Cheeky” and it’s A DELIGHT. Stella and I also interviewed her for Brazn Azn so look out for that episode next week. The story is a MUST for lovers of romance, friends to lovers, slow burns, and Vietnamese American leads who love plays and musicals!
I also read Amal El-Mohtar’s “The River Has Roots,”—one of the most gorgeous pieces of writing I have ever read. I adored her book “This Is How You Lose the Time War,” and this is more of the same, dreamy writing and deep, deep truths all couched in a fairytale.
What challenged me
Normally, logistics isn’t terrible for five kids, BUT WHEN THEY’RE ALL SICK AT THE SAME TIME, IT’S BAD. They’re also all miserable and I’m feeling impatient and at my wit’s end. Mostly, it’s because Kitsune (2) is feeling awful, cannot talk other than to communicate her extreme displeasure. She’s also super clingy, and I’m just verklempt.
The other kids are tired, too, and though they’re better patients than Kitsune, I feel just awful that I can’t bear this for them. I also don’t want Not Yoongi or I to get sick, but I don’t know if that’s possible at this point. The doctor said they have to stay home through Wednesday, and I’m canceling all in-person classes and meetups through the end of the week out of an abundance of caution.
They’re happy, but my wallet sure isn’t!
What else
I really don’t know if I can handle anything else.
This is a friendly reminder to US-based readers that taxes are due today unless you file an extension. I pay my CPA a crap ton of money to file for us, and I’ve never regretted it. (Also, we’re getting huge refunds back from the state and the IRS, and while that’s great, I also hate loaning money out without getting appropriate interest!)
Pre-sales are up for my new cozy fantasy novella, “Love As Soft As a Distant Star”—including paperbacks, so please get your orders in. If you love arranged marriage/forced proximity tropes (I sure am a sucker for them), slow burns (seriously, the slowest), cozy feels, and soft, quiet love, then check it out.
If you are able, pre-ordering is really helpful because the sales all hit on the day of release and then I get a nice bump in the Amazon algorithm and will be shown to more people.
Also, if you’re local, come meet me in San Francisco on Saturday, June 7. I will have all three of my books for sale, some candy, and can personalize autographs, too. I would love to meet my readers in person, and meet new folks as well. We’ll be at the Sports Basement on 610 Old Mason Street from 1 to 4 pm.
Support and love our community
I know I’ve mentioned supporting your local food bank before, but now that we’re approaching spring and summer, a lot of donations drop and will continue to be down until the holidays. While I understand why, people are hungry year-round and not just during Thanksgiving and Christmas.
Plus, with the federal government cutting funding, many local food banks are losing the budget that they would normally have to purchase food. If you don’t have spare money to donate, but you do have time and an able body, many food banks need people to help sort food, too.
There are few things that hurt my soul more than people going hungry—especially children and the elderly— in a country full of abundance.
If you know of a community organization or folks you’d like me to highlight, please let me know. I can only see or amplify so much.
Tell me more
How are you doing? Is life getting overwhelming? Are there moments that made you happy? I’d love to know, either way. Please reply back to this email and tell me the good, bad, and neutral news!
May you have a week full of chaotic joy!
