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Happy New Year’s Eve Day!
I used to throw a big NYE party every year, but as the kids got older, I realized I didn’t actually enjoy throwing the party. During the stress of wondering if people would attend the party or not, my self esteem would sometimes taking a hit like, oh, I guess people would rather hang out with other folks (which is their right and also, wtf I’m a delight!). And then the pandemic hit.
All this to say, I no longer throw NYE parties. However, another family and mine have started taking turns going to each others’ houses, ordering a bunch of Domino’s pizzas, and watching a movie. Our collective eight children alternating playing and eating snacks and us grown ups just trying to move as little as possible.
Do you celebrate New Year’s? If so, how? (Reply to the email and let me know!)
As with last week, you will find the following in today’s newsletter (feel free to skip to those parts):
- Personal note
- What brought me joy this week!
- What challenged me
- What else?
- Support and love our community
- Tell me more
Personal note
I actually love the end of the year/start of the new year a lot—not for the holidays which I personally don’t particularly care about. But because I love the reminder to reflect on the past and look forward to the future.
I’ve been asking close friends the following questions, and would love to hear your answers!
What was your favorite part of or thing you did in 2024? What did lesson(s) did you learn? What are your goals for 2025? What is a BIG DREAM you have?
For me, my favorite thing I did in 2024 was recording the Brazn Azn podcast with my friend Stella. I loved having an excuse to chat with my friend, to discuss issues important to us, and to interview people we deeply admire. Next year, we’re going to do more interviews, and broaden our topics, too. It makes me deeply happy to connect with people, and if folks join us as we expand what it means to be Asian American, I’ll be incredibly grateful.
One of my biggest lessons I learned was that I need to ask for help. Barely anyone knew I published my second novel “Weightless,” and I really did not ask any of my friends or colleagues to promote it. I have some illogical hangup in my brain that if I ask for help, I’ll be transactional, and I truly hate being transactional. I know intellectually it’s just in my head, but I can’t shake it at the moment. I will be working on that next year!
My goal for 2025 is to dream bigger and grow deeper. That’s so vague, but what I mean is that I want to ask for more of what I want—and to dare and ask for even more than that. I want to grow my relationships with friends and to sink roots into my communities so that I have the foundation to reach for bigger and bigger dreams.
As for my BIG DREAM, I don’t know how long it will take, but I want to become someone people turn to for my thoughts/opinions. Like Angry Asian Man, Jeff Yang, or Reappropriate—people who I deeply admire and look to for what seminal “Asian Americans” are thinking. I don’t need to be top tier, but maybe 3rd string? (See—this is what I’m talking about. Even in dream big, I can’t imagine being TOP TIER.)
I want to make stuff (whether it’s novels, articles, or podcasts, etc.) and have people consume my stuff, love it, and talk about it.
Truly, I feel a little sheepish sharing these big dreams, but why not? WHY NOT? What are some of your big dreams? Reply to this newsletter and let me know. Let’s support each other!
What brought me joy
I’m going to cheat and say everything I mentioned—that self-reflection and discussing with friends about our year and next year—brought me joy.
What challenged me
My biggest challenge is my own brain. A friend mentioned that I have a huge wall in my mind about what is acceptable to ask for, what is transactional, and what is not. Another friend asked me why wouldn’t people want to help me—and I was just like adskljadskl;jfaskdfjads. Anyhow, again, I’m cheating since I just talked about it, but this is my newsletter and I DO WHAT I WANT.
What else
I bought a heating pad that is wearable!! And I love it an inordinately huge amount. I’m always so cold and now, I’m not. I’m so happy.
Anyhow, I wanted to give you a snippet of Book 3 that is coming out Fall of 2025. I’ve been slowly but surely plodding away on it, and I think it will be different than the other two books—but in a good way.
“I think I need to throw up,” Katie announced.
“Jesus, then go to the bathroom and throw up, Katie. Who’s stopping you?” barked Ye-jun, though not unkindly.
Katie got to her feet unsteadily and lurched her way to the bathroom, haughtily closing the door after herself.
“What’s our schedule like tomorrow?” groaned Jae-sung. He was looking rather worse for wear, too. “It’s gonna suck so bad.”
Woo-jin shrugged. “I think the earliest appointment is an interview in the late afternoon, so if you have some of the hangover drinks the manager hyungs dropped off, you should be okay.”
They chatted idly a bit more before Akihiro suddenly asked, “Did Noona pass out in the bathroom?”
“There’s no way she would fall asleep in less than ten minutes. Has it even been ten minutes?” argued Ye-jun. He sighed and got up to check.
It happened so rarely, but Ye-jun was wrong. Katie was indeed passed out on the floor by the toilet. He wrinkled his nose in mild disgust but accepted that he would be the one caring for Katie the rest of the night. She was in no shape to be alone.
“Aigoo, Katie, get up,” Ye-jun said gently as he scooped his arm under Katie’s neck to help her up. “Come on, you don’t want to sleep on the bathroom floor.”
He propped Katie up against the sink, got a washcloth and ran it under the hot water faucet. He wrang it out and softly wiped her face and neck.
Katie’s eyes fluttered open for a moment, her gaze unfocused under her crooked glasses. “Oppa, you would make such a perfect boyfriend,” she drunkenly confessed.
Cute.
I’m super excited about Book 3 because we not only get more back story about Katie, we also get deeper into Woo-jin and Ye-jun’s stories. Some of the main feedback from the first two novels is that readers wanted to know more about the male characters, and I’m happy to oblige!
Support and love our community
Now, for my favorite part of my newsletter!
I firmly believe in mutual aid and helping uplift and support our community when our current societal structures fail people.
I’ve been seeing friends take bystander intervention training classes and keep meaning to sign up (but then get distracted and forget). The one I’ve seen most is by Right to Be, but I’m sure there are more! I’d love to hear from you if you’ve taken them before and if they’ve been helpful to you. I’m almost never outside, but I still would like to be prepared—and especially prepare my kids.
Tell me more
And finally, how are you doing? How are you feeling about the year ending? Does it normally make you happy or sad or meh? Do you get time to rest and recharge? Reply to this newsletter and let me know how your week is going so far. It really does make me feel so honored and happy to hear from readers.
May you have a week full of chaotic joy!
