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Sheesh. I blinked and here we are, another week later—and dare I say—not much accomplished.
Oh, I will say, that my toxic trait of glee when I trigger people was fully activated over the weekend because a 4-year-old reaction video I made about a K-pop girl group went viral on Xitter and Tiktok. And now, all these pressed fans have more than doubled the views on the video, increased my YouTube hours watched by at least 50, and have commented en masse on the video, thereby telling the algorithm to show the video to more people.
For those of you unfamiliar with YouTube and its algorithms or monetization, YouTube actually does not care if people like or dislike your video. They do not care if comments are mean or against the video. YouTube just wants engagement, and the more engagement there is, the more it will show the video.
Also, to stay monetized, you need 1,000 HOURS of watch time in a rolling year. They have just helped me get at least 0.05% of hours I need for the next rolling year. Keep in mind, that’s over 2 days of time!
So, these fans who are mad at me are literally helping me target more of their own fandom and K-pop lovers in general. They keep engaging with me even though I’m literally telling them they’re helping me out. It’s gotten so that they’re going on unrelated videos and commenting and watching those.
Let this be a lesson to us all: don’t give air to people you want silenced. Let them snuff out in a vacuum.
Thanks for the boost across the board, besties! (Also, subscribe to my YouTube channel!)
As with last week, you will find the following in today’s newsletter (feel free to skip to those parts):
- Personal note
- What brought me joy this week!
- What challenged me
- What else?
- Support and love our community
- Tell me more
Personal note
On a less petty note, my youngest turned 2! We had a birthday party for her over the weekend where we invited her favorite people, and she had a great time!
Also, I’ve re-realized that I’m happier about myself and parenting when I take the baby and the younger kiddos out to parks a few times a week. I’ve also been taking her to local storytimes at the library, a Chinese music class, and a local wildlife museum/hospital.
Though I hate being this active, I also hated feeling like I wasn’t being active enough with Kitsune (2) like I did with the older four. Granted, I am now 15 years older than when I had my first child, but that just means I know better and not that I am allowed to just let YouTube raise the baby. (Ok, YouTube did also raise Glow Worm (11) and Sasquatch (8), but I also contributed!)
What brought me joy
Other than the perverse joy I get at kicking a hornet’s nest, I also nabbed fantastic tickets for each night of j-hope’s concerts in Oakland. Thank you to everyone who sent me good ticketing energy!! Though I had the usual ticketing nervous poops (TMI, I KNOW, AND ALSO NOT A UNIQUE PROBLEM), I was super super super lucky. Not Yoongi does not quite feel as lucky because of our credit card bill, but whateverrrrrrr. I’m happy and that’s all that matters.
I also finally received my BTS moon jar!! It’s so tiny and cute and now I have another thing that I’m terrified my tiny chaos goblin will break. I guess I should be thankful for more opportunities to remember that people are more important than things.
Oh, and we finally got our piano tuned after more than 10 years! (I know, I know. This was totally my bad.) It was a lot cheaper than I thought it would be, and also, I was totally correct that the piano was a complete half step off. Now I can listen to my children and not cringe or yell at them that they’re playing the wrong note when it’s actually the piano being out of tune.
What brought you joy this week? No joy is too small or trivial. I would love to hear it!
What challenged me
I got my official ADHD diagnosis last week. Part of me is relieved, but more of me is overwhelmed and unsure how to proceed. I’m meeting up with a psychiatrist next week for medication recommendations, and considering a therapist for coping strategies.
Mostly, I’m wondering how much of my personality is actually ADHD manifesting and how much is me. I know it ultimately cannot be determined or spliced out, nor does it really matter. But that’s what’s on my mind.
I’m a little frazzled today and slightly overwhelmed thanks to me procrastinating too much and now, it’s ALL COMING TO A HEAD AT THE SAME TIME booooooooo! (This meltdown, apparently, is brought to you by ADHD.)
How are you doing? Have you any ideas or wisdom on dealing with ADHD or neurodivergent/mental health diagnoses? Did you celebrate anything this past week? Reply to this email and let me know. I would love to chat with you.
What else
I spent a lot of time this weekend reading old fanfic favorites, and it just reminded me of what I love about fandoms, fiction, and writers. In particular, I’m amazed I can read such creative and excellent writing for free! I’ve been reading fan fiction for over 20 years, and I’m just so grateful for the friends I’ve made over the years in various fandoms. Also, I’ll not have any slander about fan fiction. After all, one could argue that most literary classics are fan fiction of the Bible or historical events and Greek myths.
I’m trying to become more involved in the local book/author communities, and I’m excited to attend an event this Friday night where we all bring a few apps/drinks based on a book. A fellow member and I will be bringing tuna poke and mai tais on a “shark coochie” board for the book “Starter Villain” by John Scalzi. The book itself is ridiculous and very funny, and I’m glad we get to introduce people to the book as well as socialize.
With that in mind, I’m going to be at a local book popup at Pier 23 in San Francisco on Sat 2/22 from 4-7pm! If you’re local to the Bay Area, drop by! I’ll have copies of my books “Illusive” and “Weightless,” we can chat, and I’ll also get to connect with 24 other local writers!
If you know of other book and writer groups/communities you think might be a good fit for me, please let me know. Despite me saying I hate meeting new people, that’s not entirely true. I love meeting new folks I vibe with—it’s the people I don’t vibe with that I’m more meh about.
Support and love our community
One of my besties, performance artist, musician and singer/songwriter Joseph Tseng, compiled a list of his neighbors who were affected by the Eaton fires. The media has moved on, but folks are still dealing with the aftermath and still need our help. If you are able or have the bandwidth to share on your platforms, I would super appreciate it.
While you’re at it, please sign up for Joseph’s Patreon. Joseph and I go back more than three decades, and we have such meaningful conversations about the role of art, the push and pull of wanting to be noticed and significant but without selling out or being inauthentic. His music is thoughtful, Americana, and most importantly, really good.
I would be remiss if I didn’t shout out my college friend Tracey Gee! Today is pub day for her excellent book “The Magic of Knowing What You Want” and you can buy it wherever you buy books! Please look out for my review and her appearance on my podcast Brazn Azn.
If you’re having a hard time figuring out your next steps—let alone your desires—in work or life, Tracey’s book is a lovely and compassionate companion. Easy on the shoulds and shouldn’ts, “The Magic of Knowing What You Want” not only validates your desires, it helps you figure them out!
Are you doing something cool and would love to share with more people about it? (Or know that you should?) Please reply to this email and tell me all about it. I would love to feature more folks in this community.
I want nothing more than for my community to thrive—in any year, but especially in the next four.
Tell me more
And finally, how are you doing? I can’t believe January is almost over and 2025 is one-twelfth finished. That seems unconscionably fast and slow all at the same time. I would love to hear from you.
May you have a week full of chaotic joy!
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