I Missed a Week and My Brain Said, “Guess We’re Done Forever”

So sorry for missing last week. I wish I had a good reason, but I don’t! 

And this week, I’m coming at you late because, well, it’s hard to pick things up again when you miss even a week! I don’t know if it’s a me thing, an ADHD-thing, or a human-thing, but I have found that if I even miss one time, I’m like, well, shit. Guess we have to give that up forever now.

I know. I think in extremes, and it’s ridiculous. 

Who cares if I missed last week? Who is keeping track? And how does that stop me from ever writing a newsletter ever again?

But that’s the way my mind works. That’s why I’m so adamant about never missing a day/week/session because once I do, it’s so easy for my brain to say, “See? No one missed you. You don’t have to write every week. What about taking a month off? It’s fine—don’t worry about it.” 

And then it’s been three years like my last break, and it feels like pushing a giant boulder up a mountain all over again.

I don’t know that I have any lesson from this to share other than, hi! I’m back! Even if you didn’t miss me, here I am!   

As with last week, you will find the following in today’s newsletter (feel free to skip to those parts):

1. Personal note
2. What brought me joy this week!
3. What challenged me
4. What else?
5. Support and love our community
6. Tell me more

Personal note

Summer is summering, and it’s finally getting warm in California. I do not enjoy it, though I do enjoy my older children being home. My three oldest kids will be going to our local schools in mid-August so it’ll be back to me spending more time with the baby soon, but until then, I’m going to take advantage of the bigs being home.

They love Kitsune (2) so much and they’re so good with her. She has such a great time! 

It’s so weird to sum up my life with the kids. I feel like nothing happens, but still, a lot of things happen. So, in no particular order or thought, here is some of the stuff that is going on.

1. Teaching Gamera (13) about negotiating terms/money for her labor.
2. Teaching Cookie Monster (15) how to drive, how to respect other people’s time, how to figure things out or ask questions earlier, how to ask OTHER PEOPLE like teachers instead of ME, THEIR MOTHER.
3. Being so grateful the three middles don’t need braces and the most I have to shell out is for retainers. Apparently, the new beauty secret is to have retainers until your middle age to prevent your teeth from shifting!
4. THIS BABY HAS SO MANY OPINIONS BUT WON’T TALK LIKE WHY
5. GOING TO SEE JIN NEXT WEEKEND!!!

What brought me joy

Once again, my community is the main driver of joy in my life. 

Sometimes, I feel like I have too many group chats going on, but that’s where I receive so much life. Folks send me videos, articles, pics, posts, whatever that make them think of me, and it’s an honor to be on their minds.

I know there is so much vying for our brain space, and the fact that people will take even just ONE brain cell and use it on me for a few moments—that’s beautiful. I try to keep this in mind when I’m sent the same video for the 5th time that week. I must be amazingly consistent at branding if so many people sent me the same post. 

YAY, ME!

I finally discovered Drew Afuolo—and by discovered I mean I finally watched her on a podcast despite Stella telling me about her for months—and she’s a delight. She basically roasts misogynists online (specifically, and personally) and matches the energy trolls bring to her, and of course, they cry. 

I need more of this energy in my life. 

(But truly, only in observation. No trolls for me, please. In 2025, I’m ignoring most trolls—except on my YouTube channel because IDGAF.)

Last but certainly not least, this morning, I remembered I had a box of Melona popsicle bars in my deep freezer. I just ate one and the joy in my body is incomparable. The melon ones are the best ones, and I’m pretty sure no one will fight me on that because it would be embarrassing for you to be so wrong and so loudly at that.

What challenged me

I finally finished writing Chapter 10!! YAY! Unfortunately, I now have to write Chapter 11! Also, I’m at 95k words and likely have another 30k to go. 

I have to figure out what I’m going to do:

1. Cut 20-30k words after I finally finish writing this draft.
2. Pull a diva and say, EVERY WORD IS PRECIOUS YOU WILL NOT TOUCH THEM and publish this many words.
3. Pull some sort of literary jujitsu and cut 20-30k words (about 2 chapters), and then include a quick interlude telling that same story via “extra textual info” like tweets, headlines, and texts. 

The most annoying thing is that I might just have to FINISH WRITING THIS DRAFT before deciding on what to do. Like, it’s so inefficient. UGH.

What else 

I was on the Kpopcast podcast again talking about the BIBI concert we all attended in Oakland a few weeks ago. Will I ever write that concert review? I do not know.

You can watch and listen to our episode on YouTube or Spotify.

If you’re looking for what to watch in July, my latest entertainment roundup is up at Mochi Magazine. I haven’t done much else that is visible because everything is unedited or in progress. 

Ohohohoh, BUT… if you would like a sneak peak of what I wrote in Chapter 10 of my upcoming novel “Inevitable,” here is a snippet that makes me laugh. If you’ve ever eaten KBBQ, then you may totally relate.

The pork belly sizzled on the wire frame grill, and the familiar sound and smells of meat and charcoal settled Woo-jin’s jagged nerves just enough that his shoulders loosened a fraction. Being tucked in the corner away from the curious eyes of the public and the refreshingly crisp Cass beer loosened his shoulders the rest of the way.

Of course, the way his life was going, the looseness was fleeting. Jae-sung reached over to flip the meat before it was properly seared, and Woo-jin promptly swatted him away with his metal chopsticks.  

“Yah, Jae-sung-ah,” Woo-jin scolded with more frustration than he’d intended. “I did not suffer months on the fucking road, dreaming of proper Korean food, just to have you ruin the texture and flavor by flipping it over too soon. Please let Hyung do it.”

Guilt flooded Jae-sung’s face as he sheepishly set down the serving tongs and refilled Woo-jin’s glass of beer instead. 

“Sorry, Hyung,” Jae-sung muttered. “You and Ye-jun hyung normally do most of the cooking, and I wanted to be useful since he isn’t here.”

Woo-jin would feel more apologetic, but a proper crust on samgyeopsal was essential. “You’ll be most helpful while eating,” he said gruffly.

Support and love our community

This week, I want to share about Camp Phoenix, a justice-centered leadership program that empowers teens from low-income backgrounds and reconnects them to nature. They run sleepaway camps during the summer and weekend trips throughout the school year to expose these kids to local Bay Area nature spots. 

Founded in 2012, I first learned about this group when my friend was on the board, and I’ve supported them sporadically throughout the years. They’re a wonderful local Bay Area organization, and if you have the means, I highly recommend signing up for their newsletter, learning more about them, and donating to their program. 

Tell me more

Alright, summer is halfway through now, and hopefully, you’re all relaxing and recharging. Tell me all the fun places you’re visiting, the yummy foods you’re eating (especially if you’re local to me), and most importantly, what music/books/shows/movies you’re listening to or watching. 

Just email me and gimme all the recs. 

As always, if you need a space to unburden yourself, do that, too. I’m always here.

May you have a week full of chaotic joy!