My oldest child had his first birthday party with SCHOOL friends of his OWN making this past weekend! It was a small group, but it still made me so happy to see Cookie Monster (14) so happy. He’s turning 15 this Thursday, and I hope he learns how to be a good friend with these kids (and other kids who will come in and out of his life).
Truly, it has me all in my feelings.
One of the best things about this party was that I got to see these teenaged boys be kind to my other kids, be inclusive, and just be lovely to Kitsune (22mos)—who can be a handful! It warms my heart that boys know they can be tender and sweet!
As with last week, you will find the following in today’s newsletter (feel free to skip to those parts):
- Personal note
- What brought me joy this week!
- What challenged me
- What else?
- Support and love our community
- Tell me more
Personal note
My husband has been going on a cleaning spree lately, and I’m truly so grateful to him. I want to say I used to get these bouts of decluttering, but lately, it’s just sooooo hard to gather up the motivation. Everything feels too big and too overwhelming, and I’m lucky to have a partner who is not only understanding, but really proactive.
Everyone always asks me how I do it, and the answer is Not Yoongi. He is my executive function.
Speaking of executive function, I just had my first conversation with my primary care doctor about getting diagnosed for ADHD and she said that she doesn’t think I have ADHD and instead have anxiety and depression. I know they overlap in symptoms, so I’m glad that though at times it was a very frustrating conversation because I didn’t feel like I was being heard, she still referred me to the psych department and I have a phone appointment already scheduled!
I’m hoping that in the next few weeks, we can figure out something that fits my lifestyle and the accommodations I’ve already made. Oh, and special thanks to MNK for replying last week and sharing his fun ADHD hack of having these rousing playlists to tackle un-fun tasks.
What brought me joy
One of my dearest friends has had a truly awful two years full of tax and bureaucratic nightmares. Today, they let me know that there is an end in sight and though part of me is afraid and reluctant to celebrate too early, another part of me is so relieved and just wants to scream to the rooftops that my friend is going to be free to live her life as she pleases soon. She is one of the hardest working people I know, and just so brilliant. It’s an honor to share her life with her—even when it’s been a tough season.
Tonight, the host of Worst Quality Crab podcast Freesia Lee reached out to me about Stella and I guesting on her show! We, of course, extended the same invitation back to her!! According to Freesia’s website, her podcast is “Humans of New York meets an Asian American cookbook.” In each episode, a guest will share a meaningful recipe and they’ll talk about the history of the recipe and why it’s so important to them!
Plus, IS THIS NOT THE BEST NAME FOR A PODCAST EVER. THE WAY I LAUGHED AND LAUGHED.
Freesia is a delight and now we’re new BFFs (I don’t make the rules!!) and I can’t wait to get to know her better!
Also, I’m eating a truly random concoction of two eggs over medium, kimchi and avocado, with a generous helping of cranberry sauce. It’s bizarre but truly satisfying. Best part? No child would willingly eat this so it’s all mine!
Before I forget, it’s my favorite time of year: Spotify Wrapped season!! As I hoped, I was in the top 0.5% of BTS streamers. But, my real claim to fame was that I was in the top 0.005% for streaming Jin!
My top 5 artists were:
- BTS
- RM
- AgustD
- Jin
- TOMORROW X TOGETHER
My top 5 tracks were:
- I’ll Be There by Jin
- Neva Play (feat. RM of BTS) by Megan Thee Stallion
- LOST! by RM
- Who by Jimin
- Wild Flower (with yoojeen) by RM
What has brought you joy this week? What podcasts are you listening to? What was in your Spotify Wrapped? I would also love to know any truly weird combinations of foods you have eaten but is delicious! Just hit reply and let me know!
What challenged me
Ohohohohoh! I finally finished that article that has been an albatross around my neck! I’m including the info in this section because it really was a challenge!! I have at least another two articles I need to finish by the end of the year, so I’m hopeful it is a sign of things to come.
My other main challenge is that I’m really tired. I haven’t slept well, and part of that is that I bedshare with a toddler who occasionally wakes me at night (and by occasionally, I mean every night). I really only wake up enough to hand her a bottle and then blearily remember to remove it when she falls back asleep, but sometimes, I stay awake and it really wrecks my day. I’m actually not sure if this is solvable because I refuse to NOT bed share, so there we have it.
Sometimes, we make our own bed and lie in it. (Lay in it? I can never remember and I’m too tired to look it up.) (Also also, pun intended.)
What else
I’ve been thinking about fandoms lately, how there are aspects that I love and want to bottle and spread that joy to everyone else, and other times, how truly annoying, entitled, ageist, and misogynist the whole thing can be. On the one hand, I recognize that fandoms are merely microcosms of society at large. On the other hand, DO BETTER, PEOPLE!
Anyhow, I’m letting these thoughts stew to see if I can write something intelligent about the topic.
What else? Here’s another reminder that if you originally signed up for my newsletter because of my posts about teaching kids Chinese, we created a discord server that is an offshoot of the Raising Bilingual Kids in Chinese & English Facebook group. It’s a lot more intimate, and far more my speed! Plus, it’s a lot more organized and easier to see information at a glance. Please join us! Would love to see more familiar faces!
I’m switching up things a bit this week. I have a steamy, cozy magic novella coming out early 2025 called “Love As Soft As a Distant Star” and if I had my life together, I would have set up a pre-order link for you. Being as I am who I am, I do not have one. Lol. But here’s a snippet!
When Isaiah slides a plate of french toast, sausage links, and cut fresh fruit in front of Remi, she finally stirs and shows some signs of life. She props her face up with a reluctant palm, and her cheek is adorably squished. Remi groans and makes grabby hands in his direction, and Isaiah finds himself amused for the first time in days.
“Yes, yes, I’ve got your coffee,” he says agreeably and carefully sets a mug of Remi’s chosen poison (no sugar, a splash of oat milk) in her impatient hands.
Isaiah brings his own plate of food over along with his iced Americano (it doesn’t matter how cold the weather is, he always has his coffee cold and black) and sits in his regular seat across from her. It’s a bit jarring to have Remi with him in the morning, but he finds that he does not mind.
Isaiah has missed her.
“Thanks, Remi,” he begins to say but is unable to continue when Remi grunts and grumbles what he guesses is “Let’s never speak of this again,” and so he does not finish.
Isaiah smiles and eats in companionable silence with her.
If you’re interested in reading an Advanced Reader Copy, please let me know! I would be happy to send one to you. (Just reply and let me know.)
Lastly, I’m looking into getting a vertical freezer for the garage in addition to our chest freezer. I hate cooking, but when I do cook, I make a lot. My kids, for some reason, refuse to eat leftovers more than a day or two in a row. I figure, I should just freeze the extra food so that they can heat it up on days I don’t want to cook. It seems to be better for them than all the frozen food they are currently ingesting.
Ultimately, I know fed is better than unfed, but I know I could do better for our family. How do you deal with leftovers? Do you guys like them or throw them out?
Support and love our community
Now, for my favorite part of my newsletter!
I firmly believe in mutual aid and helping uplift and support our community when our current societal structures fail people.
I know it’s a tough time of year and folks are being pulled in multiple directions and asked to give all over the place. One of the friends of my internet buddies has recently been diagnosed with Stage 3 cervical cancer and as a result of the lost work and sick days, is needing a little help. If you are able, I’d be super appreciative if you contribute to Leah’s GoFundMe.
As always, I know not everyone can contribute monetarily, so please don’t feel obligated or pressured! I would love to include non-financial ways to support folks, so please let me know if you have good ideas and ways to participate in supporting community without it costing money.
Tell me more
And finally, how are you feeling? I can’t believe it’s already December!! The new year is just around the corner, and this time is so busy, I would love to support you and listen however I am able! Reply to this newsletter and let me know how your week is going so far. I would love to hear from you (even if it feels a little weird).
May you have a week full of chaotic joy!
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