So much has happened since I last posted (I took most of July off because I’m tired) but I don’t know if I’m back in the swing of things yet. So, we’ll just practice posting with a quick update.
Here are some of the things that have been on my mind the last month (in no particular order). I may or may not expand upon them in future posts.
1) I find it patronizing when people tell me being a SAHM is hard. It really isn’t. And yet, I am exhausted and wrung out at the end of the day. My brain is slush. So if I don’t really think it’s hard, and yet it is hard for me, what does that say about me?
I feel bad for finding it hard even when it isn’t.
How is that for a conundrum?
My friend JC summed it up perfectly when he said that parenting is hard because it is about character. It is hard on your character.
2) As much as I am a social and a night person, I can no longer stay up late without paying a steep price. A few weeks ago, I stayed up until 3am two nights in a row. It took me a week to recover. A week. I felt as if I had the flu.
3) I have been experiencing a reading slump lately. I can’t tell if I’m too tired to read or the books I’ve chosen haven’t really grabbed me. It makes me sad and yet, I am also glad for the free time.
4) Adventures in homeschooling begins on 8/31. I am alternately excited and terrified. I console myself with the fact that it is only Kindergarten.
5) My main problem with parenting (or even life in general) is that to do it well and with intention requires a lot of work. I keep looking for shortcuts and am coming up short (pun intended).
Where is my “Easy Button”?
6) A corollary problem: I have no idea what I really want or expect from my kids other than the impossibility of them being automatons blindly obeying my will and psychically knowing what I want on a Monday may differ than what I want on a Tuesday.
My poor confused children.
7) I can’t decide if I am relieved or disappointed that I have yet to conceive Baby 4. I am both.
8) I most certainly AM annoyed that my perfect plans and schedule have been rendered obsolete.
9) I don’t know why there still isn’t a better feminine hygiene product for menstruation. Over half the world bleeds on a monthly basis. WHY IS THIS STILL A THING?
10) Before you tell me about the wonders of the menstrual cup, let me just stop you right there and say while the cup maybe awesome for you and for many others, I have tried two different cups unsuccessfully for nine months. NINE.
I’m a reasonably intelligent person with pretty good Google skills. I have not been able to fix this problem. I have given it a good go. I’m done.
11) Also, this will most likely turn into a post in the near future. You have been warned.
Ok. That’s it for now. Thanks for reading!
So true. Parenting is about character. Show me the child and I will show you the mother (or default parent, another topic). Brave post.
My kids are screwed! Lolsob. Hugs!