Lifestyle

Fatty Babies and Other Stuff

Once again, a rambling post. Blame me devouring 3-5 books this weekend. I lost count.

So without further ado, the workings of my degenerate mind:

1) What is it about babies (especially Fatty McFatterson babies) that turns me into a pervy person? I must have kisses and slobber and baby mouths and tongues and fat folds and chubby feet and fingers and bellies and butts and thighs and IT IS ALL SO GLORIOUS AND TASTY.

STOP JUDGING ME AND GIVE ME YOUR DELICIOUS BABIES.

2) Hiring an organizer really only works if you also stop buying random shit or taking stuff from well-intentioned friends who are casting off their own hoarding ways and giving you stuff or your husband retrieves his 30+ year old toys from his mother’s attic.

3) No, really. I am nearing the point of burning everything down.

4) I spent 99% of Sunday in bed reading. I was an abysmal parent but it was fantastic. My elbows hurt from reading books all day. Avid readers will know what I mean.

5) Actually, I’ve been an abysmal parent a LOT lately. I think I really just want to escape my actual life and the easiest ways to do so are through a book, TV, or Facebook.

6) Glow Worm is going to be two soon. TWO!! How time flies. And how different I thought my life would be by now. (I thought I would have a two month old infant by now! *shakesfistatoldeggs*)

7) I’ve started going to physical therapy because the pain in my back/neck/shoulders finally became unbearable. You know it’s bad when I contemplate narcotics. Turns out, I stand incorrectly and my muscles are too tight and I read incorrectly, too. But the good news is that there isn’t any underlying injury or problem. Just incorrect posturing.

8) Cookie Monster finished his first half of Kindergarten Singapore Math Book. Gamera demanded a set as well but the experience is much different. She will do two pages of coloring or whatever and then say dramatically, “I’m so tired!!” Since I’m in no hurry with her and she still thinks it is fun (she wants to skip around a lot), I just let her do whatever she wants. I forget she isn’t even four yet.

9) Which reminds me, Gamera and Cookie Monster aren’t twins. It explains so much. But because Gamera is so verbal, I always forget she isn’t just a really, really, really short 5.5 year old.

10) I’ve been feeling BLAH lately (so has Hapa Papa) because we know we have to do things, but we just aren’t doing them. (eg: exercise, eat healthy, clean the house, do laundry, etc) WHY IS ADULTING SO DIFFICULT?

Alright. I think that is all my sad brain is capable of churning out today. I have a feeling that if I only took care of my shit like an actual grown up, my writing would be vastly improved. Until then though, I will pretend I’m a teenager.

Author

Virginia Duan is the entertainment editor for "Mochi Magazine," a freelance writer, and an Asian American author who writes stories full of rage and grief with biting humor and glimpses of grace. She spends most of her days plotting her next book or article, shuttling her children about, participating in more group chats than humanly possible, and daydreaming about BTS a totally normal amount.

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