Hapa Papa and I went out for a rare and impromptu dinner last night. During our conversation, he mentioned how he would like our days to have more structure because he feels as if his days are getting lost. It seems to be a particular waste because right now is a unique time in our family. The kids are still small and around us most of the time (and desire it, too). Hapa Papa is working from home 80% of the time. I’m home 95% of the time. And yet, each day seems a blur. An enjoyable blur, to be sure. But still, a blur of half-paid attention to our kids. He is sure there must be a better way.
Like the doer that I am, I forced us to immediately come up with a list of what we would like our day to look like (to be combined with my previous list of what I’d like to get done in a given day). I am aware that if we have too many things we’d like to do, we run the risk of not getting them done at all, but rest assured my concerned readers, this list is more of a framework for how to live our lives rather than a to-do list.
So, here are some of the things we discussed:
1) Have set times when Hapa Papa is “at work” when he is at home. He will do his best to actually work. (Oh, come on. You all know this happens whether or not you are at the office.)
2) When Hapa Papa is NOT working, to leave his laptop in the office and not bring it downstairs to futz around on. He doesn’t really get any meaningful work done, nor does he get meaningful time with the kids. With his computer, he’s more like a lump on the couch that occasionally (sometimes, more so) gets orders from my lazy self to do stuff I am too lazy to do (like change Glow Worm’s diaper).
3) I need set “Facebook” time. And then, I need to not look anymore. Because really? How much happens on Facebook? Do I really need to be that quick to comment or like things? (Yes, Yes, I do!!)
4) Both of us need to set aside our iPhones when we’re with the kids. It tells you something awful about how much I’m on the phone when I actually put my phone away to semi-pay attention to the children and they’re going out of their way to find my phone and give it back to me.
See? That’s all it was. Trying to be more meaningful with our children. Now, of course, that doesn’t mean that every moment needs to be fraught with portent or magic. But I do think that I am on the phone way too much and am way too distracted to parent with intention.
Hrmph. I feel as if this post is all sorts rambley. Ah well. It happens. Happy Monday. Let’s see how twitchy I get without my phone.