Just Go! June

Guys. YOU GUUUUUUUYYYYYSSSSSSS.

The year is halfway over. THE YEAR IS HALFWAY OVER.

How is that possible?

I do not know what’s been going on in June and why it was a continuation of May. I had a serious Case of the Mondays except it was ALL MONTH.

As usual, it’s time to check in and see how I’ve been doing this month with my phrase of the year (Just Go!). If I’m feeling extra reflecty, I will also talk about how I’ve done now that half the year is past.

[socialpug_tweet tweet=”If this were the end of 2018 already, I would be satisfied. I know – I DEMAND FROM MYSELF – that the back half of 2018 will be even MORE awesome. #woty #poty #phraseoftheyear #2018goals #wordoftheyear” display_tweet=”If this were the end of 2018 already, I would be satisfied. I know – I DEMAND FROM MYSELF – that the back half of 2018 will be even MORE awesome. “]

1) TAKE FAMILY AND SELF-CARE SERIOUSLY AND ADULT.

So, this means:

• Taking daily vitamins so I am caring for my health.
• Getting at least 6-8 hours of sleep so I’m not grumpy.
• Eating on a regular schedule so I don’t get hangry.
• Taking care of my skin because I’m vain and when I look good, I feel good.
• Keeping my kitchen table 85% clear every day because when it’s cluttered, I get cranky.
• Not buying more stuff (including toys) because clutter in my house makes me apoplectic. Also, I want to save more money.
• Doing the household/life maintenance work because when it builds up, I get stressed out and procrastinate and that makes me feel bad.

Ok. I did pretty awesome in this section this month again. I have managed to consistently keep my kitchen table MOSTLY clear. Anyone who has a kitchen table knows that’s practically proof of miracles. I’ve kept up on my mail and filing and – get this – MEDICAL BILL PAYING. I’ve even uploaded receipts for my FSA card on the same DAY I received an email about it.

[socialpug_tweet tweet=”There’s an inverse relationship between the amount of daily living tasks that are undone and the amount of frustration and yelling I direct at my children. #parentingtip #mindfulparenting” display_tweet=”There’s an inverse relationship between the amount of daily living tasks that are undone and the amount of frustration and yelling I direct at my children. “]

My favorite part this month has to be my kids using up all our craft supplies (if you follow me on Instagram, you know all about Camp Use Shit Up and its rousing success). This did leave my house in disarray but in general, we’ve cleaned up most of it. I’m just delighted to have my kids use things (I really will have a post on the conceit and application) and not care if we throw it away or “waste” things.

Of course, this has also made me realize just how much stuff I have in my house. My cabinets and closets and window sills and counter tops are COVERED with useless knickknacks and things that we don’t need or use and I’m not sure how I will ever get rid of it all because it’s like dust bunnies. The purge moves from one room to the next and by the time I’m done with the last, it’s time to re-purge the starting point.

Is it that I just collect so much crap? Or that the things make the rounds in my house and never truly get gone? (Is this a metaphor for our baggage and the junk in our psyches? Too deep for me at the moment.)

In July, I’m going to throw away even MORE shit. I can’t wait.

As for how I’ve done this year thus far, I’m pretty pleased with myself. Yes, I realize that most people don’t have to make being a grown up a goal so that they can be functional humans, but what can I say? It’s best to know yourself and how you operate.

[socialpug_tweet tweet=”Writing takes a lot of mental energy so if I wait until after my 4 small hooligans finally fall asleep btw 9-10pm, I’ve already been laying in bed an hour or so to put the baby to bed with my magical boobs. #parentingirl #asianwriter” display_tweet=”Writing takes a lot of mental energy – even if it is just flowing freely (and writing is not always like that) – so if I wait until after my 4 small hooligans finally fall asleep somewhere between 9-10pm, I’ve already been laying in bed an hour or so to put the baby to bed with my magical boobs.”]

I have DEFINITELY felt my stress levels decrease as my adulting increased. There’s an inverse relationship between the amount of daily living tasks that are undone and the amount of frustration and yelling I direct at my children. Anything that gets rid of all that mental background noise so I have a higher baseline to not be a dick to my kids is a helpful thing.

Wow, that sentence was nigh incomprehensible and I’m not going to do a damn thing about it except acknowledge it and move on. I see that adulting has not carried over to my writing.

2) DO THE WORK.

Here are my work goals for 2018:

• Make enough money to cover business expenses associated with my blog and related events (eg: conferences, CPA, etc.).
• Stretch goal: to also make enough to cover all my monthly mortgage expenses for the year.
• Pitch 3-5 times a week.
• Submit to other publications at least once a month.
• Write weekly LinkedIn posts.
• Write a book.
• Weekly FB Lives.
• Revamp/rehaul site.
• Daily interaction/activity on LI/IG/P/Tw.

I don’t know why I keep the goals I clearly have shunted to the wayside except to taunt myself.

However, I DID clear out my inbox of 650+ unread emails down to 6. (Wait, is this under adulting? I will file it under work because I finally reached out and did some business stuff because I cleared out the emails and I couldn’t stand seeing the remaining few outstanding emails figuratively blinking at me and as a result, HANDLED MY BUSINESS.)

I confess, I fell behind on a few deadlines. My client was gracious, but it’s not a good feeling and not a good precedent. I also dropped a lot of my posting on Instagram. I felt a lot of pressure about it, but in the end, I let it go and just accepted that this is what I can do at the moment.

I keep meaning to do all this other stuff, but I really do need to acknowledge that I’m spent by the end of the day. Writing takes a lot of mental energy – even if it is just flowing freely (and writing is not always like that) – so if I wait until after my 4 small hooligans finally fall asleep somewhere between 9-10pm, I’ve already been laying in bed an hour or so to put the baby to bed with my magical boobs. My brain just wants to go LALALALALALALALALA and stare at pretty people or play mindless games.

But I am SO NOT a morning person and the thought of waking up early makes me go GAAAAHHHHHH and since I’m almost 40, I think I know what I’m talking about.

Truthfully, I am fatigued. I have been running and trying so many new things and stretching myself in so many ways that I’ve been exhausted. And when my Courage to Earn MORE Coach, Brandi Riley, told me to take a break because she saw me and all my hard work, I almost cried.

I felt so known. And until she saw me and named it, I was hesitant to claim how much I’ve done.

But here was someone I respected, who I paid to advise and coach and teach me to be better at my business, and she said I was good enough.

I don’t know that Brandi will ever know how much that meant and still means to me.

[socialpug_tweet tweet=”This is the first time someone who is not my friend has EVER met me in real life and heard of my work. I may cry and thank the #Googlegods later. #asianwriter #asianblogger #impostersyndrome” display_tweet=”This is the first time someone who is not my friend has EVER met me in real life and heard of my work. I may cry and thank the Google gods later.”]

The beauty of these Just Go! posts is that upon reflection, even on months where I feel as if I totally sucked, I end up finding tiny glimpses of what I could be if I’m consistently awesome.

For instance, I got a chance to attend the launch party of Xfinity’s International Programming and though I was nervous, feeling unqualified and like a fish out of water, I forced myself to chat with Jay R, the Philipino RnB King, and people who seemed more awesome than me. I told myself Comcast invited me for a reason (not just because I’m “international” but I’m not complaining if it is) and is paying these celebrities to mingle! So I needed to earn my free drinks and apps! (As well as make paying for BART and UBER worth it.)

I am so glad I did. Jay R was super kind and gave me great advice about boredom unleashing creativity. He showed me how to treat people with genuine care and make even a SAHM like me feel clever, interesting, and special. Jay R forever endeared himself to me when he confessed how nervous he was to perform for the room. I found that fascinating since he’s used to singing to packed out stadiums.

Here’s a video of Jay R performing for us. He didn’t even have earpieces and as good as the sound was, it was likely not up to his standards. He was great.

I also chatted with two fellow Asian Americans and convinced them to go watch Soft Power (ahem, read my review) and one of them bought a ticket the next day! The crazy thing is, one of them women worked for the Asian American Journalists Association and when I handed her my business card, she actually recognized my blog!

This is the first time someone who is not my friend has EVER met me in real life and heard of my work. I may cry and thank the Google gods later.

Hmmmm… Maybe I Was Better Than I Thought

I am grateful for the chance to examine my months and year thus far. If I didn’t, I would miss out and forget all about how I’ve grown and attempted and even failed.

This year, I feel as if I’ve really upped my writing game. I tried a variety of new styles, new topics, and really stretched myself to switch things up on my blog and try new things. It’s caused its fair share of angst and writer’s block, but I really do think some of my best pieces were written this year thus far. (Especially in terms of paid/sponsored work that don’t sound like commercials.)

If this were the end of 2018 already, I would be satisfied. I know – I DEMAND FROM MYSELF – that the back half of 2018 will be even MORE awesome.