Last week, I finally decided that I was no longer going to grow out my hair. I had been growing out my hair because I thought that’s what a woman does: She grows out her hair. Gets bored. Cuts hair. Gets annoyed. Grows out hair. Gets bored. Wash, rinse, repeat.
But when I asked myself who I was growing my hair out for, I had no idea. It certainly wasn’t me since I was constantly annoyed at the sad, pathetic ponytail I was cobbling together. So, since it was my hair and going to be my birthday and FFS I’m a grown up, I went in to my stylist and chopped it all off.
As I was captive in the chair, my well-meaning and lovely stylist kept asking me how I was doing and apparently did not believe a single word that was coming out of my mouth. She kept wanting to know the intention behind my cut so she could meet my deeper needs. (Which, on the whole, I agree with but at the time, I was really tired and had all three of my kids in the salon with me and all I could think of was how I could placate her so she could cut my damn hair already.) I told her I felt as if I was in a malaise and wanted something more exciting instead of looking like just another middle-aged Chinese woman.
So, since I was captive, she told me a very long story which ended up with the moral of “Is what I am doing bringing me joy? If not, then don’t do it. Only do the things that bring you joy.” Which sounds great on paper if you don’t have small children but I mean, I can’t exactly do that. WIPING SHITTY ASSES DOES NOT BRING ME JOY BUT I STILL HAVE TO DO IT.
But I’ve been thinking.
It’s really a matter of choice, right? Of being intentional with my choices and actions versus having things just “happen” to me.
So when I think of it in that way, I’m choosing to wipe my kids’ poopy bottoms. I wouldn’t say it brings me joy, but them not leaving streaks of poop on their underwear or getting diaper rashes does.
I will see if it works. Like I said: New thoughts.
In addition, Dr. T assigned me to carve out 30 minutes each day to do things I need to get done that I’ve been busy procrastinating. All those undone tasks bear a heavy weight and I get tetchy and cranky and finally explode. I tried it the last few weeks and wouldn’t you know it? It helps!
However, mostly I just do the low-hanging fruit. So, I was thinking that each day, I could list 3 things I’m procrastinating and then do just one of them. Again, I’m not talking about the super easy stuff like laundry or whatever (although, I suppose if it is a REALLY huge pain point, that is fine, too). I’m talking about the BIG pain points like submitting health insurance reimbursements.
Today’s post is really short because my brain has been short-circuited by lack of sleep. (All self-induced due to having fun for my birthday weekend. WORTH IT.) I definitely have more to say on the subject, but for today, I’m done.
So, who wants to join me? And if you do, let me know in the comments. Maybe we can form a Facebook group and help each other keep accountable and stuff without eventually turning into nags and getting socially awkward.
Have a great Monday!