This post was sponsored by Sagebooks. All opinions are mine and mine alone. 

Two weeks ago, I left you in suspense to see if a force stronger than my inability to Chinese during the first half of January swooped into miraculously rescue us from inertia.

You’ll be pleased to know that indeed, I overcame and I did so by doing what I do best: outsourcing. Just who did I outsource even the most basic of Chinese-ing to?

Read on, friends. Read on.

WHERE ARE WE?

We ended Week 4 with good intentions and resolve to finally start Set 3 Book 5 and perhaps make some headway and actually finish it by the end of Week 6.

It’s good to have dreams, however small.

DID WE DO IT?

We did! I bet you thought we didn’t, didn’t you?

It’s disheartening to hear of your lack of faith. But I suppose I deserve it. I did set it up so that you would think so.

That’s called a misdirect and that’s what clever writers do occasionally so you don’t get bored.

It’s also what somewhat over-caffeinated writers do when they know that reading about a 5 year old’s Sagebooks progress (no matter how incredibly good looking said 5 year old is) is not exactly the most thrilling of prospects.

WHAT HAPPENED?

Like I always do when confronted with my inability to do anything, I outsourced it to someone who could. In this case, several someones in the form of my older two children.

In general, I prefer to make Gamera (7) help Glow Worm (5) because she is a little bit more patient and clever with her forcing Glow Worm to recall characters and she’s a real drill sergeant so he can’t get away with anything. She also sounds exactly like me at my most exacting and I always feel a mixture of terror and admiration.

When I make Cookie Monster (9) help Glow Worm, inevitably Cookie Monster either gets too annoyed to continue and they fight or he just tells Glow Worm the answer immediately.

But you know, beggars can’t be choosers and neither can older siblings because their mothers are incredibly efficient and are not above outright bribery to enforce her tyrannical whims.

Oh, don’t judge me. You know you would do the same.

After all, I’m providing my older children with opportunities to review as well as contribute to the family. Really, this is excellent parenting.

Also, this time I finally remembered to take a video and as you’ll see, I’m REALLY excellent at parenting. (I’m not.) I guess I’m letting everyone on the internet see how I’m kinda mean and browbeating but COME ON. HE WIGGLES SO MUCH.

So what I’m saying is that I’m a BIG MOOD for everyone else watching.

WHAT ELSE?

Honestly, that’s all I did. I made my older two children go through Set 3 Book 5 and they finished by the end of Week 6.

I did that, folks.

I claim all the credit because I taught the older two Sagebooks in the first place, had the brilliant idea of making them teach Glow Worm, and also overcame my utter laziness by sidestepping it.

Yes, yes. I did listen in to make sure they were doing what they were supposed to be doing. But truthfully, my kids are incredibly fair and make sure everyone does what they’re supposed to do because the thought of one of them getting away with something is untenable.

Does this foster good sibling relationships? I have no idea. But I like to think that shared suffering bonds them for life and that their shared adversity will make them closer.

All this to say that Glow Worm properly progressed and we’re now in the Treasure Boxes for Set 3 and this makes me so happy.

Tune in next time to see if I finally take responsibility for Glow Worm or continue in benign child exploitation.