Maybe it’s because it’s near the end of the year and my brain is balking at the prospect of unnecessary work, but I am having difficulty writing longer, coherent pieces that are not work related. And thus, you get the dubious privilege of reading more of my finished thoughts that cannot be stretched into a longer word count post.

Oh, come on. You know these types of shit posts are the most potentially amusing.

1) I got our annual fall family photoshoot pictures back today and I was so surprised at how much I slouched! I used to pride myself in my excellent posture. But now, I see the inward slope of my shoulders and I am bummed out.

My hair is popping though.

See this slouch? So sad.

2) Speaking of the photoshoot, there are few things as beautiful as youth. And few youths as beautiful as my children. (Ok, that’s not true even remotely. But my eyes aren’t lying to me; YOURS are. I suppose you’re allowed to think your OWN children are the most beautiful in the world. That seems fair.)

3) I finally broke down and bought bras from ThirdLove a month and a half ago. I did not realize that I lost 95% of my boobage thanks to nursing. I am now so despondent that I keep forgetting to print out the return label and return these stupid bras already.

4) I know I mentioned the Korean indie rock band, Nell, last time but it bears repeating. If you love Coldplay or Travis or Radiohead and love that melancholic feel with deep lyrics, YOU WILL LOVE NELL. They’re so excellent.

I might even like their music better than BTS’s music. (I still stan BTS, though. You can’t take the abs away from me.)

5) Cookie Monster (~9) got braces and glasses this week. He went from being really adorable to super adorkable. I know this is shallow and ridiculous, but I am a bit sad that he went from gorgeous to um, awkward, literally overnight.

Also, I don’t know how it is possible that he already got the wire out within 24 hours. And almost break his new glasses the same day he got them. Like, WHAT THE HELL, male child? WHAT THE HELL?!

6) I really need to actually homeschool my children before my husband takes away this option from me. But, like, it’s really annoying. How much of our education do we use, anyway? Can’t they just learn everything through books and reading?

7) Actually, I really just need to get my life together. But it is so cold. (Yes, yes. All you people who live in real cold places are rolling your eyes at poor, shivery me. But my entire STATE is ON FIRE. So, who’s the jerk, now? Oh. That escalated quickly.)

I’m serious, though. I know I need to make huge changes – or perhaps, just small changes that stick. But inertia. (Physics, you cruel mistress!)

8) I really hate “Yes, But” people and I know I am totally that person right now.

It’s annoying when you know the answer to your own problems except you also know that you are the problem.

9) I need to get out of my own way. Who can I pay to do that for me?

10) My house currently reflects my internal state of being. It’s a mess. Unorganized. Piles and piles of unused and forgotten crap that I have hoarded for Some Day. (Although, just because you don’t use something every day doesn’t mean you have to get rid of it. I only use my turkey pan and baster once a year but I am still glad I own them.)

I have totally let adulting slide and though some of the onslaught has been kept at bay, it’s incredibly daunting and the cold weather makes me not want to move.

Ok, fine. It doesn’t matter the weather. I don’t want to do it.

Well, I suppose at some point, I can just bury my head in ALL THE SHIT IN MY HOUSE instead of sand.


Wait. I do. I have kinetic sand. I hate Past Me.

11) Why do I fool myself in the delusion that I don’t like or have things when I have a house FILLED TO THE BRIM with THINGS. Things that I don’t necessarily hate but I hate for filling my house to the brim.

I want to hire someone to do it for me. But then, I feel extreme shame. Like, this is something I should be able to deal with because FFS, it’s just STUFF. I know how to get rid of stuff. I know how to file stuff. I know how to pay stuff.

It’s just that there is SO MUCH STUFF.

12) Part of me is just hoping that it will get unbearable and that I will go on a crazy tear and rip apart my entire house in one long bender.

I think I would have to get pregnant again and go into full blown nesting phase. Except that with the last baby, I only had 2 months where I was not exhausted so I doubt I would be able to do anything with the house.

Plus, that seems like even worse planning and life choices because I have gotten rid of so many baby things.

13) Aw, crap. (See what I did there?) I keep delaying potty training the baby (who is TWO) because it is cold but I always end up potty training when it is cold. I don’t know why I do this to myself.

14) Honestly, the more I examine my life, the more I realize that 99% of my problems are self-inflicted.

This does not make me feel better or empower me. It just makes me sad.

Alright. I can’t think of anything else to add so I will just end it here. Have a great Thanksgiving Weekend.