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I know. It’s been a long minute.

Quite frankly, I’m not even sure I know how to write anything that is not work related but no time like the present to try again.

Don’t get me wrong. I have been very grateful to write as my work this year. I’ve had the chance to try out new writing styles and got paid for the opportunities. If that isn’t living the dream, I don’t know what is.

Part of it is that I was in such a funk that I couldn’t think of anything to write that wouldn’t make people super concerned that I was going to take the next spaceship off Earth to join some weird BTS commune. And the other part was that I didn’t really want to think about my life or my feelings or really anything at all and it’s difficult to write anything that doesn’t ring false if you’re unwilling to be honest with yourself.

How can you write the truth if you are unwilling to face yourself?

You’ll be relieved to know that I think I’m finally coming out of my mid-life crisis. (I keep referring to my mid-life crisis and we’ve been on such intimate terms lately I feel as if I should call her Ethel.)

I create my own jet lag.Click to Tweet

Well, me and Ethel have been all cozy but I’m thinking we may have to breakup soon. It was a brief fling and I hope she doesn’t take it the wrong way when I say that though I’m grateful for the experience and what I’ve learned from the relationship, if I never see her again, it will be too soon.

It’s so strange. I have so much to say but it seems all throttled and unbearably cheesy.

Also, a lot of it relates to BTS.

I can’t help it. I know they’re infants – but they’re all over 21 so quite frankly, if men can ogle at young twenty somethings, then in the interest of equality, SO CAN I.

And so, I will give into my friends incessant requests (yes, there were actually people who requested this) and start writing about BTS and how they pulled me out of my whirlwind romance with Ethel.

You don’t have to read it. (But you should.)

Oddly enough, it has nothing to do with sex and the hotness that is BTS.

Ok. That’s a blatant lie.

There is sex. Because OMG HAVE YOU SEEN THEM?

But mostly, it has to do with me.

I don’t think I’m making any sort of sense right now. I’m high off caffeine and though I personally think I’m a riot when I’m over-caffeinated, it probably makes for scattered reading.

My poor body. It must hate me.

I overdose on caffeine to make me run and then drink alcohol to make me stop.

Ok. That’s also not entirely true. I have a personal rule to not drink on days that would drive me to drink and thus, I rarely drink because honestly, most days could do with a LOT of alcohol.

How can you write the truth if you are unwilling to face yourself?Click to Tweet

But the caffeine part is accurate. I create my own jet lag.

All this preamble just to say, I think I’m back.

Oh, Dear Jesus, I hope I’m back.